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Don't know what is wrong with me today...but my head really hurts.
Went through the orientation process, looks like my dreams are going to be harder to chase. I'm honestly scared of not being able to make something of myself. I'm starting to doubt my own abilities. Its like I took a step outside myself...and what I see scares me. I haven't been this scared in months.
I only have fallback plans, no definate plans for the future. I know what I love to do won't give me the money needed to really support myself. I don't want to have to depend on a man to support me. All this information seriously has ******** up my mind. I don't know what the hell to do, nor do I care at the moment. I care, but I don't, and thats what makes it really hurt.
I have a few things I want to pursue in life, those being...
Photography
Writing - (Poetry, stories, songs)
Graphic Design
Digital Photography
Criminal Justice
Forensic Science
Biochemistry
Emergency Doctor
These are all things I've been interested in for years. The two I have for fallback plans are Photography (Digital included) and writing. These I can do no matter what, but won't support me. The rest I deem interesting, but the classes I need to take in order to get there are too hard. Especially math-wise. I'll have to take higher math in order to have a fighting chance. How can I do that when I failed Algebra 1A? I can't do math for s**t, no matter how hard I try.
Ehhh...brain aches.
Its going to work. I'll pull a Naruto dammit. I can do ANYTHING. DAMMIT. o.o
College is going to suck. But I have to do it.
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