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I failed the job interview big time.. which wasn't so bad as i didn't really think I could do the job anyway.

I fail at being social... I freak her friends out with my weird behaviour. When she does similar stuff she can get away with it cause she their age and cute... I'm just the hyper, over the top, freaky elder sister. What really got me was T's nice, polite, some what Pollianna ish friend said , or rather admitted that I probably freak a lot of people out. She probably has a point but damn that stung. It really gets to me. I could probalby do something about it... learn to put on the acceptable social mask... but I don't bloody want t! I want to be ME and accepted for that. But then I also want someone to say they think i'm truly beautiful and mean it too. So Never -Going-to -Happen.
I seriously need some friends of my own. 2nd hand friends just don't cut it. Unfortunately the odds of my meeting anyone of interest, dating or otherwise around there are pretty much zip. Due to my oh-so -tetchy -body though I'm going nowhere without a car though... and there's no where for me really to go anyway. I wish there was someone one my own age or similar around to talk with... hell, even just people i had stuff in common with but there isn't.
I'm not about to break into poor, poor pitiful me but it'd be nice if there was someone I could be myself around without freaking them out...
Swingers and gay people find acceptance with their own kind... you'd think it wouldn't be that hard for a hetro, anime junky to find some peeps to hand with... oh well.

I better quit before I do break into poor, poor, pitiful me. confused