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My friend just told me I was a zombie and that I can't think for myself because she tells me it is gay to do something and I don't do it. She thinks that I have no personality... and that I follow in her shadow. I don't know whether to believe that she is right or to deny the charge... but I can't help but to think that I have no individuality... gonk She thinks she has changed so much but she hasn't changed at all... she is trying to be heavy punk when her preppy side is still taking over. I am just one of those average teens that don't know what they want out of life... but if I could do one thing over... I would never have pretended I was preppy for 10 years... maybe then I could deny what she was saying to me. I don't know ne more... I guess that when you try to be yourself it really is never enough... or maybe the real me fails to come out when I need it to most. Why is there always something wrong with me? I don't know why I haven't just ended my foul existence yet... It does hurt my feelings that I am thought of that way though... *sob* crying

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