I have this problem where I talk myself into believe things that I know aren't true, and yet I can't help but to think that way. I find myself quite persuasive even though others probably don't. Like just last night I felt as though my own boyfriend didn't want my to come over to his house. I know it's not true, but I felt that way. He seems to always make me feel that way, as horrible as that makes me sound. Although, when I told him that my mom wouldn't take me to his aunt's house and I had no other way of getting there, he didn't really seem to have any reaction towards it at all. Does that mean something?
Maybe I'm just being stupid. Though that wasn't the only thing I talked myself into thinking. You see, our computer is in my parents room. Stupid right. Well, I just happen to be on a lot. Scott went up to come watch TV and then didn't because I was on the computer and Robyn was watching TV with my mom. Then mom told me and Robyn that we had to go downstairs because Scott wanted to watch Lost. Oh, and if you were wondering, Scott is my stepdad. Well, that doesn't make any sense. Robyn could watch Lost with them if she wanted to, right? I don't think she would have a problem with that. Scott could have watched it even though I was on the computer.
Then I began thinking that maybe he just wanted some privacy. Sure he did, but my mind wouldn't let me think that. Why did he have to get rid of me? I wasn't in anyone's way. I was quiet. I convinced myself a whole bunch of stupid crap that didn't make any sense.
It's very confusing, my mind, how it works and everything. It's against me.
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Last year was last year, yesterday was yesterday, but change today can change the rest of your life. So don't ******** mess up my day.
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Jesus Is Muffins
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