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Today is going to suck.

I woke up on time at least, and got some laundry done, but these bad memories of when I was younger happened to pop up today. I hate my childhood. I was always picked on, left out intentionally, and ignored, and for some reason it had to come up today as I was reading a story. Its funny how things work out, I guess.

I can't help but feel lonely today. Part of me wants to stay home and wait for Mark to call - if he calls. Something makes me think I didn't get the job, something might have happened at the final interview to make it that I didn't get it. But they all said we were employed - so it shouldn't be a problem. I'm just hoping I don't start Wednesday. I need to enroll for IVC then. So if he calls, I'll let him know I need to not work on Wednesday since I will enroll, and when my dad gets home he'll take me to pay for my classes the same day.

I've also been thinking lately. I need to spread out my connections with people. I'm friends with people that have nice friends, and they know me - I want to get to know them better. I have few close friends, and they all have friends they go to. I want to have the same thing. Hopefully I can strengthen those ties, I guess.

I don't know what has come over me. I just feel...quite lonely.

I kinda really want to start working so I can take my mind off these things.

21 days till school starts. Yippie.

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