As you're walking along the pier at the Obligatory Pirate's Cove, you're accosted by a smarmy pirate. He doesn't seem to want to fight, though. He pulls you aside.
"So, yeah, I TOTALLY need your help," he says, winking. "It would just be GREAT if you would help me out, or whatever. I need one more judge for our annual Pirate Pageant. Do you think, if you're not too 'busy', you could 'judge' our contest? Just take a look at these three pirates and tell me who you think is the saltiest old salt to ever sail the eleven seas."
You take a look at the contestants. The first one is wearing eyeliner, for some reason, even though that's not something you generally find on a pirate ship. He has long, ratty hair, and constantly sways back and forth, like his legs never figured out he's not on a ship anymore. "Hey there, mate," he says. "The name's Jack Robinson. If you could see your way clear to voting for me, I'm sure I could reward you somehow, faster than you can say 'me'... savvy?"
The second pirate has a hook for one hand and a peg leg. He's dressed in a bright red uniform and wears a long black wig. He's wearing even more makeup than Jack Robinson. "You should definitely vote for me. Definitely. My name's Sergeant Hook, but I'm definitely up for a promotion. I'm an excellent pirate. If you vote for me, I'll give you something nice. Definitely nice. K-mart sucks."
The final pirate looks far too dashing to be a real pirate -- he looks like one of those kids who hang out at the mall pretending to be pirates. He has perfectly coiffed hair, a suave all-black outfit, and a mask tied over his eyes. "I am The Dread Pirate Bob," he says. "I am entirely sure that you will vote for me, because unlike other pirates, I can speak with an English accent. Plus, MY reward for your vote will be much better than these other two rogues."
I vote for The Dread Pirate Bob
You cast the deciding vote for The Dread Pirate Bob. He may not be crusty or salty, but he definitely can speak with an English accent. "I say, excellent decision, my good man," he says. "Though I must confess I am but one in the long line of Dread Pirate Bobs, going back well into the last century. It is a title I bear with pride, however. Here, you may share in the booty from my last conquest."
He acted like he was going to give you something great, and all he gives you is some meat? Inconceivable!
You gain 100 Meat.
OMG!!! XDDD rofl
You're fighting a sassy pirate
Diagnosis: Sassy!
He gets the jump on you.
He tries to sass you like a hoopy frood, but you're far too hoopy to be sassed.
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