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Lauren's Journal
Whatever I feel like typing.
Well then. My life was already turned upside down, but today made it a bit more upside down. Things are happening that aren't supposed to happen.

Somebody likes someone else, my friend thinks this guy likes her, my other friend is attmepting to flirt with her boyfriend, and one of my other friends might be going emo, because she's sick of all the crap going on at our school.

Robert died, making it teh second death at Cedar Valley since our 6tgh grade year. We're in 7th now. I'm half worried that there's going to be a death next year. If there is, I don't know what my friend would do.

She hasn't resulted in cutting herself yet, but it's probably only a matter of time. Instead, she sits in her room, remembering the yesterday that used to be. Before Robert died, before Shawn died, before our lives turned upside down.

She waited for someone to speak out, to notice what was happening to her. No one besides me has noticed yet. She's turning into what my friend Jess is; depressed, ready to slash out at the first person who tries to care.

From her point of view, they're all out to get her. What she doesn't know is that so many people have gone through this, and are going through it. She's never alone, even though I know she sometimes thinks she is. Hell, so do I.

People are so stupid sometimes... they never notice what's going on around them. Sure, at school, she's fine, but I know better. See her after school, she's moping in her room, turning up the 'emo' music from her laptop.

Bad enough to see my friends cry, even worse to watch her sob about Robert. Her other friend didn't handle it too well. "He was... crying," she told me one day. I believe her, as unlikely as it sounds.

But she might fall apart. Like Tohru might fall apart, at the loss of Kyoko. To your average person, it wno't seem like she's lost much. But she lost a friend, a good friend.

She lost that friend, because people made fun of that friend so much, she has resorted to cutting herself, making herself feel the pain of a bleeding leg, arm, or wrist. She told me once 'I enjoy the pain. It lets me feel alive, like I could belong in this living hell. Shawn died, and now Robert!'

She went on about that for awhile... she was very upset when she talked to me about it. I'm worried that one of these days, she might end up killing herself.

But that's the way the world is. Some people die in car crashes, some die in plane crashes, and some commit suicide.

*shrugs* It's as if there's no God around.





 
 
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