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When you were born, everyone around you was smiling and you were crying. Live your life so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone around you is crying.

And it comes to be That the soothing light at the end of your tunnel Is just a freight train coming your way.

I can see a world without hate, without violence and without war. Then I can see us bombing that world cause they wouldn't expect it.

A true friend stabs you in the front.

One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day

No-one is a virgin - life screws us all.

Fighting for peace is like ******** for virginity.

War doesn't determine who's right, it just decides who's left.

The believer is happy. The doubter is wise.

For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Chances are you're one of them.

It hurts to admit when you make mistakes, but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.

There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but the ocean of reality.

The only common feature in all of your dysfunctional relationships is you.

Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.

Every cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

My life is rapidly becoming the punchline for a seriously disturbed joke.

In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Don't lie - the government hates competition.

I don't believe in stereotypes. I prefer to hate people on a more personal basis.

Some people say we live in the best of all possible worlds. The scary part is that they might be correct.

I'd like to do my part to make the world a better place, but murder is illegal.

I don't discriminate - I hate everyone equally.

I hate life, i hate death, and everything in between just doesn't interest me.

War teaches us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it is another nonconformist who does not conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

Those who live by the sword are shot by those who don't.

The very fact that we have not been contacted proves life is intelligent on other planets.

Sex is the leading cause of death. Think about it.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

In theory, everything works.