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Boredom. Damn boredom. It is May 17, 2008; 2:15 p.m. I am here, sitting in this lovely comfy brownish redish chair in the office where our computer is located. My Aniki is playing on the 360(as usual), grandma seems to be sleeping, and I think grandpa is on the computer too. I sure as hell don't know where my dad is. I was sent to a grouping home called "All My Children" for a week. I wouldn't be able to come home until my dad moved out. Now my mom, my aniki, my grandma, and grandpa(i think) knows everything now. All thanks to a certain someone that I really really don't know who it is that told our school counsler. When I got back to school, my friends told me everything. They told me that somehow, Kyra knows all about it and is spreading it all around about you-know-what. My friends had no choice but to tell our English teacher who is the head of the 8th grade everything. Yesterday at our meeting out in the hall when we were done presenting our WW2 stuffy, she looked at me smiled, and said, "We're glad to have you back." I know that I'm not very very fond of her but when she said those words, I felt really happy. I...I was glad to be back. I'm more happy then usual ever since I came back. I'm kinda ticked off at the person that told the school counsler but at the same time, I'm not. I'm actually happy that my dad is out of the house. I won't have to deal with him anymore. He always annoyed me to ******** death that I would have to hold my anger in and end up accidently taking my anger out on my family and my friends. And now that he is gone....I won't have to do that anymore. I'm really not used to this feeling. I've never been in this kind of happy. My mom asked me of what I would do if she brang dad back. I said, "I wouldn't do anything. If it's your choice then I'll accept it. But deep down inside, I know that I would probably be angry.....at you."
Those are the exact words I said to her. I remember. Then...I had another conversation with my mom on Thursday. Wait...I think it was the same conversation. That conversation.....It.....I didn't want to show my anger to my mom about that conversation. What....? Doesn't she trust me anymore...?
She....She should trust me....that what I'm saying is the truth....
I know my friends wouldn't tell the school counsler. Because if they did...then I would be able to find out easily. They wouldn't want me to get ticked off at them. They all know that it is a pain in the butt when I get really really ticked off. But even when I was at that place...the longer I'm away from home with people that I sure as hell do not even know...the more ticked off I get. But I couldn't show that I was ticked off. I couldn't even be myself when I was there. No one to talk to about the stuff I really like. No one to talk to about anime, about Twilight, and about Marked. No one to talk to about Vampires......
They know nothing about me...especially one of the girls there. She was my roommate. Her name is Kourtney. She was really pushing her luck. I hate having to hurt those who are younger then me. But...I was ready to kill her....tear her apart...rip her arms and legs apart from her body...dislocate her head from her neck...blood splashing everywhere....oh man...
To kill someone you really really want to kill....it must....feel so good....
People don't know how many times I thought of killing them when they get me ticked off....
I'm trying to control my emotions. Especially my anger emotion. I kinda have control over it. Keyword: KINDA. I would just walk away, go some place where people would ignore me, sit down somewhere, put my head in my hands or bury them in between my knees and day-dream about me killing them. I would ignore all those around me. I think I understand Jacob. That he gets really angry and would want to tear Edward apart and all but Jasper is there to keep everyone calm. I would get even more ticked off if I was really really ticked but Jasper is there to keep my calm. Wanting to be mad but can't thanks to a certain emotion manipulater. You know what I would do? Knock em out. Sadly...Jasper is a vampire. A human like me is no match for an undead creature.
You know what ticks me off the most? Not knowing how I feel. My true feelings. Well...I of course know when I'm feeling ticked off. I don't know when I'm feeling normal. Ya know...neutral. Because at the same time...I would have this odd feeling...the feeling that I'm having right now...But you know the most definate feeling that I really really want to know what it is like thanks to my damn curiosity? One word.
Love.
I don't care who it is. I just want someone to describe it to me...of how it is like when they fall in love with someone. Do you feel butterflys flutter around in your stomach? Tch Yeah right. I just want someone to describe it to me.

Time to post pics

Mikoto Sukimachi(Official pic for Mikoto. I hope you likey!)
Tears of Eyes
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