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I woke with a start, my body covered in cold sweat even though the window was open next to my bed, a warm breeze brushing across my shivering skin.
“Another damn dream.” I whispered my voice soft against the night air. I could tell it was night, my alarm clock hadn’t rung yet which meant it had to be before seven. I reached out my hand across the soft pillow and felt the hardwood of my bedside table underneath my fingers. Without missing it by an inch I found my cell phone and tapped a small button placed strategically on the side.
“It is now 6:30.” The metallic voice sounded from my cell phone. Sighing I placed it back in the exact same spot I had picked it up from. Moving slowly I slid out of my bed and felt my way across the floor to the closet where my hands found the knob and wretched the doors open. I felt for the first hanger and pulled it down. I slipped the clothes on and felt on the floor of the closet underneath where the outfit had hung and slipped on the shoes that were in the spot. Walking a bit more confidently I reached down and picked up my backpack, the rough polyester weave rubbing against my skin as I heaved it over my shoulder. Remembering my cell phone I nearly tripped over something I had not expected to be there while in the midst of turning around.
“Who the hell moved my stuff!” I whispered fiercely while regaining my balance and grabbing my cell phone, slipping it into the front pockets of what felt like a pair of jeans. Trying to remember where I tripped I stepped over that area and thankfully, as far as I could tell, missed what ever had been there. Reaching my door I threw it open right as I felt my brother run down the hall. There was a banging noise as he ran into my door. The noise was all too familiar as I stepped out, feeling my brothers soft track pants against my foot, his muscular leg hard underneath.
“You know sis, just because you can’t see doesn’t mean you have the right to cause other people pain.” He said, the noise of him rubbing his head causing me to laugh softly to myself. Oh and if all of you out there haven’t figured it out yet, I can’t see.
Remember that bottle, the brown liquid floating in it? Well that bottle was filled with hair dye. A hair dye that if remains in the eyes can cause blindness. The men left me there with the liquid burning my eyes and I wasn’t found till two hours later and by the time the people who found me got me to the hospital there wasn’t anything anyone could do. Apparently the men were rather smart, so if they were ever caught that would only be charged with assault instead of murder. Sadly though my eyes were dead and there was no hope of them ever coming back. My parents made it to the hospital about 3 hours after I had heard the news and there first stop was the police station to find out who did it. Sadly since I can’t ID anyone, they got away with it, and to this day I have yet to see a single thing, that last image of the fading moon still burning forever into the fabric of my consciousness, even four years later.
“Sorry about that Shun. Didn’t hear you coming.” I lied though a smile. I could hear him stand up and turn to look at me, his collenge had a dark smell, pleasant in small doses, sickening when you had to share a bathroom with him. I remembered what he looked like four years ago, his hair was long and brown, it hung down to his strong jaw line which always had a faint layer of stubble on it. His girlfriends always said they liked this and since then he had only shaved on the weekends. He had black eyes like our father but his skin was pale like our mothers. Tall, and lean, his muscles coated every inch of his body from all the hours he spent at track, running circles around a field I could never see but only hear.
“I’m sure Mirai, I know how good your hearing has become since…. You know.” Shun’s voice faltered at the end and I reached out my hand to touch his muscular shoulder, I could feel the muscles twitching underneath.
“Bro, its okay. Don’t worry about it, just tell Mom and Dad that I’m awake.”
“All right.” His shoulder slipped out from under my hand and his feet made a continuous pattern as he ran down the stairs. Heading slowly down the hall to the bathroom I stepped inside and found everything exactly where it always is. If one thing was out of place I would have been completely lost so my whole family always had to be careful of that. After rinsing my face and brushing my teeth I carefully brushed my hair as I always did, just to make sure it never turned out looking to odd.
I eventually made my way back to the stairs, keeping my hand on the railing incase I missed a step which was doubtful after all these years of never seeing the stairs. The railing was slick under my hands and remained that way until the last step where it became rough, from all the years of hanging a dog leash on it.
A soft woof came from around my ankle and then a smooth tongue against my hand.
“Hey Chie….” I said and leaned down, running my hands though my dog’s fur. Her smell was sweet, unlike most dogs she always smelled nice, almost like cinnamon. She was a Seeing Eye dog, a cross between a Border collie and Rough collie. I had never seen her but from description I can piece together that she was a dog about knee height and about three feet long. She had a long bushy tail and the rest of her body was supposedly just as bushy, and it sure felt that way whenever I petted her. A long snout and perky ears adornered her supposedly adorable face. Her colorings were a complete piece together of witness accounts, as I so called them. Main body color of brown with a white face and white paws, and small black spots all over her body. I didn’t care what she looked like, as long as she stopped my from getting hit by cars I was okay.
Her soft body stayed close to my leg as I walked into the kitchen, the linoleum clunking under my shoes. I could hear my fathers newspaper rustling at the other end of the table and my mother was already typing at her laptop. The smell of burnt coffee filled the room, with a slight undertone of burnt toast. No one in my family could cook so burning was a very familiar smell.
“Morning guys.” I said as I sat down in the chair closet to the door, always my seat so there was less a risk of me tripping on things.
“Morning Mirai.” They said in perfect unison. This was there way, rather then deal with the fact I was blind they tended to ignore it except when it was slammed into there face. Such as the day we went to pick up Chie or when they had to buy my first school textbook in brail.
According to Shun my parents hadn’t changed since I went blind so I can tell you about what they used to look like. My mother is Irish, curly, wavy , bright red hair that hung all the way down her back. She was slender, but curvy which only made her thick hair all the more obvious. Pale skin coated her entire body and contrasted the bright red lips and shining green eyes that adorned her face. I had inherited those very same green eyes, not that I remembered what I looked like anymore.
My father was very different, he was a true Japanese man. His skin had a feel of being tan to it although it wasn’t. Black hair hung loosely around his face covers his black eyes half the time. He was skinny as a rail and never gained weight, even during the holidays. My parents made quite a pair and had produced some rather interesting children, or so I’m told.
“So mom, how do I look today.” I said, trying to break the silence that seemed to dominate the room. A sigh followed and then the tapping noise of her fingers against the keys stopped.
“Do you want the exact ‘how do I look’ or just the ‘ya look good version?”
“The exact one please.” Sometimes it was nice to know how I looked before I went out, even if I couldn’t see it.
“You have on blue jeans with white and black stitching along the pocket edges. The shirt isn’t so much a shirt as a tightish, long sleeve, v-neck sweater that has black and grey stripes. The shoes are just black slip-ons.” My mother said in one breath before the clicking noises returned.
“How about my hair not to mussed up now is it?” I ran a hand through my hair gently, picking out a few knots I had missed. There was a small rustling noise and then the shuffling of feet and I felt a hand on my shoulder the smell of ink and paper surrounding me
“You look fine.” My dad said softly as he moved around my to the fridge. I could feel Chie move around him and finally settle at my feet, resting her head on the backpack that still on my shoulder.
“Thanks dad.”
I was about to sit down when Shun ran into the kitchen, his footsteps were hard to miss.
“Come on sis. I got to get to school early for a track meeting!” Shun may have been a year older then me but he certainly didn’t act it.
“All right, all right, God.” I slid past my dad and through the door, grabbing Chie’s lead and bending down, feeling my bag’s strap slide across my neck. Clipping her lead on I followed Shun’s footsteps out the door and down the front steps. We lived in San Francisco in a townhouse that I can barley remember the look of. I had never been a big detail person but now I wish I had been.
“Come on!” Shun yelled from his car. He had gotten it last year and all I knew was that it was silver. That was the most descriptive Shun had ever gotten.
“You know being blind tends you slow you down!” I shouted back from the last step and let Chie lead me across the sidewalk and over to the door of the car. Opening it Chie jumped in first, into the backseat as she had been trained and I quickly followed her, except staying in the front seat and shutting the door, buckling in quickly.
“Sorry,” Shun’s voice was quiet with ashamed, “I just really have to go.”
“I know. Lets just go.” His keys jangled and the engine revved the scent of gas filling my nostrils, the vibrations running up my legs. I could feel the car pull away from the sidewalk and head down the street, a small bit of wind flowing into the cabin of the car from my cracked open window. A click and loud hip-hop music blasted out of the stereo.
“ Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..” My brothers voice crooned off key from the drivers side seat. I rolled my eyes, knowing it looked like I could see. From what I had been told my eyes were still the same bright green they had been before, and still moved as they always had, the only difference was instead of black pupils they were grey, sometimes even white. I couldn’t imagine what I looked like now and what little people described to me only led me to a image that resembled what I had looked like the night it happened.
“If you must sing, can you please try it on key…and on a better station?” I personally had nothing against hip hop but alternative was definitely further along the lines of music I enjoyed.
“You could be walking. Say nothing.” I crossed my arms in mock huff, pulling a laugh from my brother. “Just hold on, were almost there.” He was right, they were almost at the school, she could hear the shouting from the front school yard even at 3 blocks away.
Shun pulled the car into a parking space, the same one he always did. Having a handicapped sister had its benefits. I could hear him placing the handicap sign below the rear view mirror and climbing out of the car. Without another word he was gone, his feet pounding against the pavement in the direction of the track. Chie made a small noise in the back seat and jumped onto the pavement as soon as I opened the door. I could hear her breathing by the side door and avoided stepping on her as I stepped out of the car and shut the door carefully behind me.
Most people would have gone and talked to their friends but if I did that I that there was a possibility I would get lost in the crowd and not be able to make it into the school on time. So instead I just took the side steps up into the school and down the hall to my first class room. The school had helped to give me a schedule that involved as little walking as possible. The hallways had a resonating tone to them especially when they were empty. My shoes made slapping noises against the plastic floor. Reaching my hand out I felt the rough wall plastered wall under my fingertips. I knew if I pressed down hard enough it would cut into my skin but I simply dragged them lightly against it. Finally it ran off the wall and onto a smooth plastic door.
Chie stopped in front of it and barked once to signal our arrival.
“I got it girl.” I said reaching down and giving her a quick pat on the head before throwing the door open.
“Hello Mirai.” The teacher said from the front of the classroom, organizing papers on her desk. The teacher had a harsh voice, harsh but nice. It sounded like it belonged to a tall thin woman with brown hair that was always tied back. Her eyes sharp and alert but kind and forgiving at the same time. Sadly I had no idea what she looked like, all I had was a voice.
“Hi Mrs. Morton.” Chie led my across the room to a desk off in the corner. Sitting down by the edge of the chair she nudged it out with her paw as she had been trained. I tugged it out a little further and slipped into it, pulling out my English book. I don’t know what it looked like except that it was bigger then all the other books the other students had and the pages were coated in Braille. It was the Scarlet Letter, except written for people like me.
“You still reading all right?” The soft voice sounded again.
“Yeah, it as hard at first but now it comes rather easily.” I flipped open the cover and the page I had marked with a post-it. My fingers brushed over one of the lines, slowly but with skill. “Writing is harder then reading.”
“Well I hope you are doing all right on the essay.” The teacher said as the bell rang and the door to the classroom swung open. Only one person walked in and they walked quietly, almost as if they were sneaking. The soft breathing ended up behind my head before I said “Marissa….please don’t breathe down my shirt.”
“Aww come on!” The soft, jittery voice sounded behind me. Sounding like the color pink, or at least how I remembered the color pink. “How do you always know?” the voice receded slightly as Marissa sat down next to me. Dumping her book bag on the ground and pulling something out of her bag.
“You shuffle when you walk, not to mention you breathe through your nose, both in and out.”
“Only you…” She said lightly and began to shuffle through the pages of what I guessed was her book. Marissa and I had been friends for years, she used to have long blond hair and bright blue eyes. Her skin flawless and her posture tall. But that was four years ago. No one told me she changed but I had to guess that she may have changed a little. Her voice had remained the same though.
“My senses did improve when I lost one of them.” Marissa let out a small sigh and the second bell rang, signaling the beginning of class.
Mrs. Morton’s voice sounded from the front of the class. “All right, open your books to page 45.” My hands flicked the pages until I found the Braille page that corresponded to page 45. Welcome to my life.