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I've tried really super hard with this....trying to be feminine thing but...it's just not working. I don't want to ask Asami so I have to figure this out on my own! It's snowing still but spring is already here... I feel a bit strange wearing all of this white but it's the custom during this time so I guess I can put up with it. "What's wrong?" Dirce asks me. I really can't stand this stupid brat but she'll get even more annoying if I don't tell her so, eh why not? "Well...I erm.....I want to be more of a girl!" "Heke? Hm....well I guess just pigtails won't cut it for you eh? Hm...why do you want to be more of a girl?" "B-B-Because I want people to...well take me seriously." I answered. She gave me this skeptical look and laughed,"Oh come off it...there most be another reason, a boy maybe?" I couldn't hide it; I was blushing. "N-N-No! I only want the same kind of attention that Asami gets." "Oh...so you're just jealous then? Is that why you haven't asked her for help?" I put my head down and blushed an even darker red,"Yea...I guess." "Well you aren't the type nor do you have the personality for her kind of feminine. Just erm...well in order for your transformation to initiate, you need to talk with some of the boys. Primarily, your brother." she said. I gasped,"What? Why him? He's an idiot!" "Correct but he has the things that you're looking for...charm and charisma. It's the same reason people like that idiot so much even though he's well....an idiot. He does all of his stuff in a cute way and he's mature when you need him to be. So ask all the boys how you can be more girly okies? That's your first assignment!" I couldn't believe I was being ordered by a freaking 9 year old...I used to be feared and here I am getting advice from a kid...talk about lame. I knew that my big brother was going to either piss me off or give me a headache so I wanted to tackle him absolutely dead last. I decided to go to my cute little pet, Shinto first~ "Yo Shin!" I said, waving to him. He'd actually been pretty busy since Cali came back and was er...ruling the country? "Hello Merlow-hime!" he said bowing. Ah cute little Shinto....kind, cute and pretty as could be. Unfortunately though he was sort of clueless and was very easily taken advantage of, I was waiting for the day when he'd be solicited by a stranger and then become a rape victim without even knowing it. "You think you could help me with something?" I asked. "Of course! What can I help Merlow-hime with?" "Well....I want to be more girly, think you can give me some advice?" He gave me this face like there was no hope for me or something....I was about to kill him. "Er....how come Merlow-hime isn't happy with how she is now?" he asked me. "Well....I'm always treated like a boy, and tell me the truth...that's what you've always looked as. Admit it Shinto." "O-Okay, yeah maybe I have but then again I always look like Merlon-kun as a girl so I guess that's not cool either right?" I rolled my eyes and sighed,"Look...just give me some advice okay? How do you always get Caliban's attention even when he's super busy?" "Well....I don't know, I just do. You may not know this but most guys actually love attention!" "Attention? What's that mean?" "Well....whenever I really want to get Master's attention, I always sit on his lap and snuggle with him. Everyone loves a good snuggle! Even the badasses! So try that!" I gave him a good pet,"Thanks Shin, it helped." "You're welcome Merlow-hime! Good luck!" Even though he'd totally give me one of those nerdy clinical answers, I decided to try Ordi after that. He of course was reviewing the history of the West. "Oi! Think you could help me out a little?" I asked from across the hall. He lifted up his head and it looked like he hadn't done that in like days. "Sheesh...take a break why don't ya?" "This is my break....Her Holiness wanted to see the spring time flowers so she does that while I do this. In a way..this is my break." "When was the last time you actually got any sleep?" I asked him. "Um...Yesterday? I want to have a plan ready before Alistair and Fira come back to us." he said in a serious tone. "Well....I know this is a bit off subject and stuff but do you think you can teach me to be more like a girl?" He shook his head and looked at me,"Are you serious?" he asked. "Of course I am! Why would I not be?" "I see....well then, for you...I believe that would be impossible." "Excuse me?" I asked. "I'm serious, you need to be regal and even though you are a princess that is proving most impossible. I recommend that you drop this silly idea, plus there's no point in it." "What? No point in it? You'll actually treat me like someone that's there! And I'll actually be respected! Do you know how much I'll be respected in the future? I need this! Please Ordell, I'm not asking for much...would it kill you to just ******** cooperate?" I growled. He laughed and petted me on the head,"Relax, if this really means so much to you, I'll help; but only because you're a princess. One thing you need to change is your reactions." he told me. "My...reactions? What do you mean?" When you yelled before, let's say that you were in a negotiation meeting to stop you country from going to war. Now if you acted that way to the other country's ruler...consider yourself at war." "Crap...what do I do? That's the way I've been raised. And it hasn't gotten me into trouble yet. Why should I have to change that?" "Because...that's the way you'll need to be. It's how Sophie acted, and it's how Lady Asami acts. It would be better to know this type of personality so that you can...adapt to different situations. Now then...pretend that I am your boss. Ready?" "I guess....." I answered. "Good..now then, Miss Merlow! You are not making the kind of changes that we need here! You're falling asleep and you haven't gotten any thing done! What do you have to say for yourself?" s**t....what the hell was I supposed to say? Eh why not....I'll just go with instinct on this one! "Well I'm trying my best! I'm pregnant and I have two kids at home to take care of ! I know I've been a little rough lately but I promise I'll fix it right now..." "Hm...well you'll get your job back with that one, not bad for a first try. but at any rate....you need to start working your feminine charm more. You need to be tough but not too much okay? Can you come up with something else?" "Er....Sir I realize I haven't been doing so well around the fields and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for you telling me, I promise that from now on I will do my best to not only represent this company but to express how much this company has been apart of my life and how wonderful it is to work here!" I said with a smile. Ordell had actually clapped,"Very, very, very good! I'm so, so happy...This is perfect and with that speech not only did you just save your job but you just got a promotion as well. If you keep speaking like that Lady Merlow, I guarantee that you'll go places. Good luck." he said waving goodbye to me. I walked into the town and actually saw Caliban licking some ice cream, looking so cute like that...for a moment I thought he really was a kid. "Hey...what's up?" I asked. He gave me this skeptical look and growled,"What do you want from me?" he asked nervously. "Ah! Why does everyone give me that 'I'm-deathly-afraid-of-you-get-away-from-me' look? I promise that I'm not gunna eat you...not yet anyways." "Oh okay...er...well I guess Merlow to be honest, you are pretty scary looking. You remind me of a witch." I wanted to wring his little prince neck but instead I took a deep breath,"You're entitled to your own opinions Caliban, but do you think you could give me advice to be more girly?" "Um...sure I guess...I don't see why you'd want to be though. I like the way you act. It's....refreshing." he confessed. "I promise I'll still be the lovable Merlow most of you love, think of this as an improvement....so got anything to improve myself with?" "Hm....I know! You gotta move like a girl!" "Move like a girl? How the hell do you do that?" I asked. "Okay...I guess it all depends how you act and stuff. And seeing as you already walk like a boss...try making your steps a little softer." "Uh...okay?" I felt akward as my boots lightly hit the ground but with Cali's nods, he must've thought something was right. "Okies! Now with you...you actually burst out with confidence, so all you need to do is erm...express it! Walk with your hips!" he told me. "What? Do I look like a stripper?" I asked. "No...I promise you won't! I'm just trying to teach you how to be sexy okay?" "W-Wh-What? I'm going to a boy to teach me how to be sexy?! I already know how to do that you dolt!" I said, turning red with fury. His hands flailed as he shook his head,"No! You've got it wrong! I'm just teaching you how to be a softer sexy...not like you know, full on and stuff. Maybe sexy was the wrong word for it....how about charming?" he asked. "Tch...you're lucky buddy...I was about to beat your a** for a second there." I growled. "Presenting yourself is super important and trust me if you present yourself like this...people are gunna pay attention for the right reasons!" he said with a nod. I practiced standing, walking and even how to fight 'gracefully' like a girl. And I really did feel a bit more confident. I definitely did not want to talk about this with Yael so I instead began searching for my idiot brother. I finally found him training by the small pool located near the shrine. He was wearing only those stupid shorts he obsessed over and he was standing in the middle of the water. For once with his shirt actually off you could finally tell that he was a boy. I was watching him from behind a tree, and no that doesn't count as stalking mind you! I just didn't feel like talking to my brother right then seeing as it would be akward. To be honest, I'd never seen him look so serious. He held Mooncica at his side, spun it around and hit the water with it. Mooncica actually stayed in it's placed spot but Merlon was walking on the water. One after another he was pulling out all kinds of spells. Some that raised the water up, one that caused the earth to vibrate, and even fire magic. He was actually gasping for breath but instead he placed a shield around Mooncica and attacked it from the outside with his voice. Ugh it was so loud I thought my ears would bleed. It didn't take much for the shield to shatter but once it did he got this sad look; he was trying to strengthen his defensive magic. He gasped more but instead he put up another shield. Then as he punched at the wall I could hear him sing-speak. "You sit there in your heartache, waitin on some beautiful boy to save...you from..." By that he could even breath. Amazing....my brother really was a hero. He was pushing himself to the limit with this one. Not only was he practicing his defense but he was training his voice, stamina and psychical strength. Finally he collapsed on the water gasping for breath. "Damn, I'll never beat Master if I can't do this...I have to get it right or not even bother at all...." He then actually got back up still in pain but managing to create another shield. "I need to make some way of fighting more efficient for me....Master fights like a knight...like a true Master, if I am to even want to stand a chance against him I need to use something I'm good at without making myself tired to quickly...I need to..." "Dance." I said, finally coming out from my tree. "Ah! Ohmigosh! Sis! Wh-What're you doing here? How long were you watching?" he asked me. "Long enough....you got a neat little trick going on there." I said smiling. "Oh...yea....Sorry, helps my stamina." he said. "You're gunna get sick." I told him. "I'll make it." he said with that stupid goofy smile he gives everyone. "Oi....tell you what....I'll teach you how to dance okay?" "What?! But sis...I already know how to dance...." "No you don't...listen this is sort of how Yael is teaching me only I'm not graceful and nor do I use magic so it'll be different for you. Now...er...can you get me to float?" "Uh..yea." he said with a snap of his finger. "Okay...first close you eyes and try to block my hits okay?" I started it easy, fist only. Unfortunately this wasn't working for him. He struggled to keep up or even hold his arms against me, his strength was magic but he really wanted to try this melee thing. "Not great....anyways, can you help me be more....girly?" I asked suddenly. We were still fighting but he tilted his head. "That's so strange of you sis...are you jealous of Asa?" "Grrr...no! Just help me with it okay?" "Teehee.....that's fine with me." The moment he said this Dirce poofed up. "Aha! Perfect~ Merlon, I need you to help me with your sister okies? Come, come.....we have a lot of work for you." she said pulling me away. "I finally figured out what your style is. You my cute little friend are a tomboy. So that's what we're sticking with...but we'll give you that feminine flair you want. Now I know you love your pigtails and stuff but I need you to put up all of your hair got it?" "What? One ponytail? Oi..Fine." Dirce pulled down my long black hair and put it up and added a pink ribbon. "What do you want out of this Merlow? What do you want to look like?" she asked me. "Er...well I don't wanna be one of the boys. I wanna be a flower not a dirty weed! I wanna smell like roses, not a baseball team! And maybe one day people will actually start liking me. I just wanna be one of the girls!" I said proudly. They put me in a skirt, gave me a strange shirt, black boots, and then these arm warmer thingies that I could just take off? I had always fought in a skirt but this one, I felt like it could fly up at any moment. "You'll be fine...just wear one of those super short-shorts to wear underneath if you feel uncomfy." she told me. "There....now you look the part. Merlon could you teach her how to speak charming?" "Okies! Now see girls have the eyelash thing so I guess you could bat them...but I think it would be a safe bet if we just teach you to be cute. The most important thing I could tell you is to be expressive!" he said jumping. "Er...right..." "I'm not kidding! And in order to be both charming and charismatic...you have to be expressive! Mean what you say! Use body language." That whole time I was learning from my brother, and to tell you the truth this whole girl thing was still so confusing. But luckily I had coaches. Finally I could go out into the field, and my test subject would be....my teacher, Yael. I felt like I was myself, even fighting felt easier. Once we were done and I fell to the ground, he held out his hand to me and smiled. "You look nice by the way."


Dinner was done and over with and my sister was brim with confidence and beauty, she really did radiate the beauty of a princess. I walked outside on my way back to the shrine when I saw Asami holding a white snowflower. She looked at me and smiled,"They're so beautiful...and it's thanks to you that they can still bloom." she said. "Asami...I really didn't do anything great...to be honest everything I've been able to do at this point is Mooncica...all I'm doing is channeling her spirit I think. I never remember how I'm doing the things I do..." "Dolcino says that when one does magic that they find themselves in another world. But it is all you that is doing it Merlon. You just don't know it because it's the soul that calls out the magic, not yourself." "I guess....I'm just kinda nervous." "About facing Alistair?" she asks me. I nod,"Yea...Master was like a Father to me....hard to believe he basically killed my parents. This man isn't the Master that raised me, sure he had his sour moments but I know he's a kind person....I know he is." I said looking up at the dancing aurora. "Oh Merlon.....I hate to see you look so worried...Just follow your heart. That's what big brother and Father Dolcino taught me." "Where is your brother anyway?" "Brother went with training with Witt and he told me not to tell anyone ...don't worry though, I already brought them food." she said with a kind smile. "Asa? Are you ready to fight? You look ill." She really did like quite pale, I tihnk I was the only one who noticed though. She had this worried look on her face and quickly replaced it with a smile. "Oh...no, I'm okay Merlon. Thank you for caring." "Don't lie to me Asami...what's wrong?" "It's this stupid weather, to be honest I've always had really bad health but I don't want anyone to worry....plus I love being outside...my brother would kill me if he found out...." she confessed. "Hm.....here, take this!" I said handing her my coat. "What? I can't take this....you'll freeze!" she objected. I shook my head,"No...I was going to train too...I won't need it, trust me. If anything I would mess it up. Well I gotta go, see ya!" I said running off.


Ciaossu! OMG...that took like foreva! But man am I in the zone! I feel so...not useless! Plus I have like a butt load of inspirations! I am like addicted to my itunes right now! Now that I finally found some really good music~ Anyways I have to type up sumthin for BK so it might take a lil while for me to type up next chap~ Be patient!