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Nikki...no more. You can't keep scaring yourself because of my sake. You can't keep thinking you'll lose me. I've never left your side have I? I'll never leave you...so don't think you'll lose me over some situation between my mother or the fact that my own most important brother is yours at the moment. I can...and always will be here for you, if you'd let me.

It's alright to cry...It's alright to worry. Just remember that in the end of the day we can always talk...as lovers would...as we have always talked. Everyday you make me worried, bothered, and crazy. Of course you are always on my mind. That's why I can't stop talking about you...I keep worrying about whether you are really in love with allen..I worry about your sicknesses...I worry about ever being together with you as allen is. No matter what these things never leave my mind, and I've always got to ask you "are you ok? are you alright with this? what if it was me?". I want to know that I'm not invisible...that I am still someone to you.

Of course I'll still be jealous of allen, that's because I still love you. I love you more then an important person, than a friend. Yet it's that same love that is saying at the moment just keep it a secret, that if right now we confessed our loves to each other, we wouldn't be able to stand our time apart. I'm already scared of what lies ahead, but I'm sure we'll get through, that you'll be back and in my arms in no time.

So I want you to be strong Nikki...don't fall for these nightmares around you that you'd lose me or allen. That you'd never come back. Don't ever think that I could/would find another person to replace you. I'll never let anything like that happen. I'll never let another woman get between you and me...I'll fight whoever tries to hurt you. I'd gladly give my life just to protect you. I love you more than anything, anyone. I love you so much...life itself is not important to me.

god knows how far I'd go for you....now just promise me you'll be strong through the rest of the summer, through those years of not being legal. You don't have to burden yourself with everything, that's why you have me...I'm just saying don't keep crying, don't always worry. Have us in mind, of how much fun we had and how much we love you.

Now I want you to delete this entry....less you get in trouble by someone. Just don't forget me, that I still and forever will love you. Just remember that, No matter what fears...we will still be here...you will always be in my heart and on my mind. Forever and always yours, your dearest friend Chris.

You dont ever have to worry. I will never leave you. And I promise that you'll never leave my thoughts or my heart. Your so important to me, your practically my whole world, whole life, etc. sorry if that sounds cheesy, but its something good to say.
And well... you know that I would make sure that nothing happens between us. Like I said, your really important to me. I would do anything for you. I would fade into the nothingness with you.