New World
Have you ever wished that you wanted to restart you whole life and make some changes. I had some feelings of that sometime now, because I know that I would make some really wrong choices. I know for sure that what I have choosen can't be changed, because all of that is now in the past. All I have to do is make a wish of a whole new world. A world that whatever I choose, then it would realy make a difference in my life. Something that would effect the way I live and would effect my feelings. I wanna start off fresh. I want to make a new start. Or if that doesn't work, then I wish that I can disappear and make something really happen. I want to be the person that everyone cared, but I feel sorry if people cared, cause sometimes, I think it's a lie. The world I live is always filled with lies.
I wanna change because I am always hiding myself into someone I'm not. I wanna live life the way that I can't make up lies and can't live in struggle. I wanna change the way I act also. I'm a coward for being myself and I hate myself for it! I can't even tell myself that I want this or not! I wanna forget every memory even though I am going to regret it so very much! A world that I can't regret anything is what I need to live in. I never wanted to be cared for cause I know that I would end up making them very sad. Making myself wish that I want to be gone. I want to be gone so that I can't make people feel sad anymore. One world that I can remember and maybe almost forget is mine. Will my loved ones be happy? I hope that people understand that. I wanna to make people happy, cause I don't want to be here.
One way to I want to be gone because I am at a really bad moment where I can't make people sad anymore. To make people happy for me, they would leave me alone in what I want to do. I feel so depressed because I will forget the ones I love. "Why? Because we're your friends." This is from Shan and all I want to say is because I know for a fact that my whole life is a lie to people. I have 3 people in one person, that is how much of a lie I am. In know that I won't be able to make people happy cause I am a tool that they use just for fun. Also I feel sorry for the people that cared for me because all I wanted was to disappear. I want them to forget me every moment because I'm not good enough to be cared about.
This is the world that I live in.
Have you ever wished that you wanted to restart you whole life and make some changes. I had some feelings of that sometime now, because I know that I would make some really wrong choices. I know for sure that what I have choosen can't be changed, because all of that is now in the past. All I have to do is make a wish of a whole new world. A world that whatever I choose, then it would realy make a difference in my life. Something that would effect the way I live and would effect my feelings. I wanna start off fresh. I want to make a new start. Or if that doesn't work, then I wish that I can disappear and make something really happen. I want to be the person that everyone cared, but I feel sorry if people cared, cause sometimes, I think it's a lie. The world I live is always filled with lies.
I wanna change because I am always hiding myself into someone I'm not. I wanna live life the way that I can't make up lies and can't live in struggle. I wanna change the way I act also. I'm a coward for being myself and I hate myself for it! I can't even tell myself that I want this or not! I wanna forget every memory even though I am going to regret it so very much! A world that I can't regret anything is what I need to live in. I never wanted to be cared for cause I know that I would end up making them very sad. Making myself wish that I want to be gone. I want to be gone so that I can't make people feel sad anymore. One world that I can remember and maybe almost forget is mine. Will my loved ones be happy? I hope that people understand that. I wanna to make people happy, cause I don't want to be here.
One way to I want to be gone because I am at a really bad moment where I can't make people sad anymore. To make people happy for me, they would leave me alone in what I want to do. I feel so depressed because I will forget the ones I love. "Why? Because we're your friends." This is from Shan and all I want to say is because I know for a fact that my whole life is a lie to people. I have 3 people in one person, that is how much of a lie I am. In know that I won't be able to make people happy cause I am a tool that they use just for fun. Also I feel sorry for the people that cared for me because all I wanted was to disappear. I want them to forget me every moment because I'm not good enough to be cared about.
This is the world that I live in.
