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always loved never forgotten...
dear jornal...today i lost an excelt friend. only he was more then a friend i really liked him a lot but it ended with him telling me in so many words to stay the ******** away from him. i will miss him and the realisation that us no longer being friends is mainly my fault hurts. I couldnt have him as more and i knew that but i still tryed and in the end he wont even have me as a friend i feel as if i have a huge gapping hole in my chest. it hurts everytime i try to think he pops into my head. and it hurts. it truly hurts knowing that i didnt want him as a friend to know i wanted him as more and would not accept him as friend and thus he left me. now we are no longer friends or anything but foes and as i lay here clutching my chest to me for fear if i let it go that i might break into a thousand little pices i wonder would this have been the end result anyway.... would this have happened if i had played my cards differently, does he even care to think about me and hope the way i do that we still might be friends after the dust has settled....hopefully i will learn from my greed and never get so attached to another again because as life has taught me before my attachments are what hurt the most. i have never been good at letting go i warned him that one day he would leave but i think i was trying to warn myself that one day he would go. i lived my life every day for so long just trying to get by then he had me hoping for brighter days but now all hope i once had is forever erasedfrom my soul and my mind as so as i sit here and cry as i type i can only hope that i cry for better days and not just the lose of someone so dear to me..... as for he wishes me to stay away i shall remove him from my contacts list but so i never fotget here written where only i can see in white print his names shall scar me forever more that way he is lost but never forgotten

gaia user namecaptjoe
e-mail cool.aid.guy@gmail.com
and YIM captain_joe1992


as my tears fall i shall remove him and hope one day i might be forgived