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... I realize now that I am loved more than anything and that each little breath I take is worth while. I know I may not be around for a long time, but I know that I am a barrier to the ones I love. Their walls; their lives; their futures. I regret things I've said that have hurt them; I regret saying I didn't want to know them. I am glad I do, now, and I don't regret having them in my life each and everyday.


Death of My Storm

I know you’re up there watching me.

I know that you’re safe and happy.

I know things like these happen every day.

But I’m sorry I wasn’t there.

And I know those things hurt.

And I know I should have said better words.

And I know leaving you wasn’t the better choice.

But I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.

And I feel like I’m dying as well.

But I feel like I’ve known you for over a hundred years.

And I feel like I’m going soon.

But I feel like I can be with you this way.

And I feel like I could have done better.

But I feel like this was the better choice.


I know you’re dying.

I know the sad truth.

And every day I wake up,

I realize that it might be your last day.


And I knew something had happened.

I knew it when you hadn’t answered me for days;

When you should have answered the very next day.

But I got scared.

You were my wall; you are my wall.

And it’ll stay that way until I die.

So I decided to make up an excuse for that.

I said “Maybe she has no internet; or maybe no time.”

But what I should have said was

“She’s lying in a hospital bed dying.”

But I refused to believe that.

I chose not to believe in the truth.

But the sad part was…

I couldn’t cry like I had done before…

Maybe that’s why I felt so guilty.


But to tell you the truth

Every day when I woke up

I knew it was coming



Jade, I have a feeling that this one is for us...



My Walls

My walls are fighting, how come?

She tries to change me.

She doesn’t understand I care.

My walls are crying, how come?

She’s hurt me so many times.

I’m sorry ok, I know what I did.

My walls are dying, how come?

I’m done with her, with this.

I’ve changed, I’m not the old me.

My walls aren’t smiling, how come?

I don’t care anymore, I’m gone.

She doesn’t scare me.

My walls aren’t trying, how come?

It’s not giving up; it only means you’re stronger.

You can’t change the past.

My walls aren’t happy, how come?


Hurricane, you are never alone and neither are you, Jade. I love you both, more than life. And if I have to die tomorrow, I will meet that fate with a smile, knowing that I had people like you in my life. Through hard times and easy, we have stayed by each others sides and with that, it is the same. Thank you for everything, girlie's. It really means a lot that you care...