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This is really hard for me... i've never felt like this before over anyone....

i mean i've been in luv before and had my heart broken, but never like this... I mean i told him, IM TRUSTING U WITH MY HEART... DONT BREAK IT, USE IT, OR ABUSE IT!!!! neutral he was the best thing that ever happen to me... i would've did anything for him...

well after it was all over, ya kno the first few days i cried like a frikin baby... but i thought that after that i would be ok.. ya kno cuz i had cried so much.. well its been almost a month and my heart is still with him, but the thing that confuses me the most is wat he said and how i feel... this guy told me that HE DIDNT LOVED ME!!! evil it was all just a lie... well now that i think about it... i really dont think he ment that... well part of me anyway... my point is after he told me that, i still wanna talk to him, i still wanna hug him, i still wanna kiss him..... IS THAT WEIRD???? sad i really dont know... how can i still luv him after the lies.. the pain... the heartache???? is it because i gave him my heart??could it be because i made him my everythin??? or is it because i thought he was everything i ever wanted?? why??? this sux!!!

but i kinda blame myself too.. wen we met and were friends he told me things.. then he started to like me... even tho i was dating(dont worry did not cheat on the boyfriend.. really good person)someone, we still got kinda close.. but i didnt like him yet... the me and the other one the ex broke up.. me and him flirted for a while.. continued to talk on the phone.. then the last few weeks of school we ended up going out.. my friend ruth-anne was the only one out of everyone telling me NOT TO GO OUT WITH HIM stare ... but did i listen?? hell no... but i also didnt listen to myself... being that i knew him and wat kinda person he was.. i told myself not to fall for him.. not to trust him with my heart... i mean i've never trusted anyone with it fully, because it always gets broken.. but it was something about this one... i thought he'd changed..for me... i guess i was wrong... so again.. the questions come into play... how and why did i allow myself to fall for him?? and why do i still luv him??? can someone please answer that!!!

cant believe im about to say tthis but... i luv u Eric Clayton!!!! and i always will!! heart (UNFORTUNATELY) emo