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i hate my life...i seriously do....nothing ever goes right and whenever i think something will it ends..........i should have learned by now that's the way my life goes...but i can't help but hope sometimes.....i feel like everything is just out to make my life a living hell and there is nothing i can do about it......i can't see much good anymore....i don't even have a place where i can go that i can feel that nothing outside can come in....cause it always does....no where is safe anymore......there is no refuge......i think i'm going to have my mom take me to a doctor so i can get some anti-depressents or something because i can't take this anymore.....i hate haveing this sick feeling in my gut that tells me to just end it all....and i don't want to do that.....i'm sorry if my journal is pissing anyof my friends off that even read my journals...i know i don't show a lot of it at school...some but not all....i know you think i'm just crying out for attention and believe me i'm not....there is still a lot that some of you guys do not know about me that i refuse to let anyone know.....so yeah.....bye