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ive written alot of journals today.. 3!!!

one of them, is not readable...

for my own purposes..

but anyways!!!

ooommmmgggg....... today was just... wow..

it was katy's party!!!!

it was friggin awesome!!!

she had it at her mom's gym. and we swam. and played in the pilates room. ( i have a hunch that i spelt that wrong.)

but it was really fun over all!!

vanessa and lindesy went! ^___^

but today was also horrifying!!!!!!!!!!

omg!!!!!!

okay.. well i had sectionals today after school. and then i had golf practice 5

omg.......it was horrible..

okay, well my mom and i were just driving.

(she had already picked me up from school and was taking me to practice.)

and ya know over by the hospital?? that one gas station?? i forgot the name of it...

and omg!!!

okay, well i wasnt really paying much attention, and neither was my mom.

okay, well a song came on (one that my mom enjoyed) and so she started singing along with it.

and i was just sitting there.. like.. whatever.. and i look straight, and theres a truck.

turning straight into us. while we were going straight, he was... turning into the gas station? (he was on the other side of the road so he had to turn after we had passed)

and my mom was going like.. normal speed i guess and hes going like.. faster!!!

i noticed he had a stupid 'blue tooth' thingy in his ear. ya know those weird cell phone things but for your ears????

and omg!!!!!!!

i looked up, and i was trying to yell!! but my voice just broke!!!

it only happens when im really scared!!! like when i NEED to scream, i just get breathless!!!

and like 3 whole seconds later (feels like more) i just start screaming!!!!!

and my mom finally looks up and pulls the brakes!

but it was horrifying because her brakes dont work all that great!!!!!!!!

so we slid like 5.. maybe 6 feet without stopping!!!!!

ya know when your brakes are fine, when you put it on and you get whip lash???

but noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! we were like 5 feet away from the stupid truck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and thats at the maximum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so both cars are like, are curved like a side ways trianlge.. (do that with your hands and you'll understand)

but the scariest part, was that I HAD A ******** NIGHTMARE ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was just my mom and i, in her car, just driving. and all of a sudden, we get in this horrible accident!!
the front of the car is just smashed in and fire everywhere (from what i could see in the front seat)

so i look over to see my mom. to see if she is okay.

her head was resting against the steering wheel knocked out unconsciene (i know i spelt that wrong) and i have blood running down my head, between my eyes, and down my cheeks.

and nobody. nobody was able to hear my screams. nobody...

and all i could remember from that dream, was frantically looking out the smokey window.. and when i moved all i could feel was pain.

and ya know when your 'falling' in a dream, and you suddenly wake up cuz your about to die or when you could feel that pain even when you wake????

yea... i felt it.

and it was soooooooooooooooooooooo scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cried!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on my way to golf practice i cried. not alot, but enough to notice. like with the whole swelling of the lips and the watery eyes... yea...

what if that really happened though?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

what if i was SUPPOSED to get into that accident!!!!

but i didnt. im alive. and... BECAUSE I WAS THE ONLY ONE PAYING ATTENTION AT THE TIME BEING!!!! my mom put the brakes on early. before it all happened. (again.)

omg.......... it was horrible..i cant even explain of to how scared i was.

and its really freaking me out, because ive had de ja vu alot lately!!!!

not like 'oh ive been here before' or something! but like 'holy crap. she is going to say *insert conversation here*' and it really happens!

but wow............forgive me for who ever reads this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously, this is waaaaaaaaaayyyy toooooooo long!!!!!!!!!!

dang... okay well i'll stop now =]