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I'm just so freaking sick of her. SHe gets on everyone of my last nerves on a daily basis, and I can't take much more.

At times she says and acts like she loves, but at the same time turns on me just for one thing. I try to apologize for accidents, and she's gott oo much damn pride to accept them. Maybe it is me? I mean, I could be the problem that makes her so angry all of the time, and then she has to b***h at me. I have that thought everyday.

It also doesn't help that my dad's in a mental hospital, and I'm outnumbered in gender 2:1. I mean, how am I supposed to grow up to become what the media produces as a 'man', and show my little sister that she can't push me around, when I don't have the emotional strength to do that? not that I ever really had a strong relationship with my father, anyway, but it's just the point in the matter.

I've apparently taught myself it's better just to bottle my emotions, and keep them to myself. I know it's not the right way, but I don't have any help in this shithole you call a home. It's me, my mom, my dogs, and her.

This is just too much.....

I'm pretty sure you self-righteous bastards who read this WILL say I'm my own problem, but I know that, so don't bother.I'll probably be like this for the majority of my childhood, but whatever.

I'd never hit her, and I guess that's what you might cll a positive. I'd never get violent with another person, because that's just me. I've been criticized for that too. Am I just supposed to believe America is full of violence-prone narcissistic bastards who don't give a thought about the feelings of others? Because that's what I think sometimes.


Okay. Now I feel better! This is all true. I don't make this kind of thing up. smile