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ok im writing a story and i think its turning out pretty good thus far ((im only on the 3rd chapter)) but i just wanna know what you think.

The Great Flame of Senbane

Chapter 1
The Adventure Starts

Adian Skenba walked though his village and sighed “Is there nothing to do here anymore?” He asked his older sister Amarra when he got to their small hut-like home. “There are plenty of things but you just choose not to see them.” She said “those things are what you like to do I mean things like sword fighting and adventure.” He retorted in a smart a** tone. She sighed. “There is the old guild I hear their reopening it and will need a new bunch of apprentices” he gave her a strange look “I don’t want to be an apprentice for most of my life I want to go on an adventure where I don’t have to do things like go save a old ladies cat from a giant frog, or run around collecting mushrooms for some old witch to make an antidote for some stupid kid.”
Amarra grinned. “your not that old yourself remember you will be seventeen tomorrow and then you can go on and do your adventures.” She smiled. “but only on one condition.” She finished interrupting him before he could say anything. “fine. What is it?” He asked. She stood up “Alright little brother. Your blond good looking and almost seventeen.” She messed with his hair. “Hurry up and get to the point” he said. “Mom said that we had to look out for each other remember” She said in a serous tone. “Yea so.” He said not wanting to remember when the marauders had come and killed their parents “So. I want to come along when you go.” she said bluntly. “YOU WANT TO DO WHAT!?!?!” He asked in a surprised tone “I want to come along.” Is all she said then leaving the hut and going to get some food.
Adian was stunned that his sister had said that let alone meant it. “Where you actually serous when you said that you want to come along?” He asked her later that night “yes I was and I still am someone has to cook for you and make sure you stay alive” She said putting their dinner on the table “Ok, I’ll give you that much you are a good cook.” he smiled and started eating “Yes, I am but I never would have been if I hadn’t take that cooking class.” She said taking a bite of the small chicken she had prepared for them. When they had finished dinner and washed the dishes Amarra turned to Adian and smiled. “Time for bed we can start packing tomorrow after your party” She said to him seeing that he was already packed. “well it looks as though your ready for tomorrow and I may have to be quick about my packing.” she laughed. “I’ll worry about it tomorrow.” She said lying down on her bed. “good night Adian.” She said. “Good night Amarra.” He rolled over and fell asleep.





Chapter 2
A New Life

Adian was awake well before the first light of morning had even poked over the hills in the east. He was dressed and out at the old tree training before Amarra had even stirred from her sleep. “he is out on his daily training session. He should be back any minute” she told everyone who showed up for his party. He came back twenty minutes later drenched in sweat and more exhausted then he had been for days, but stood tall and proud when greeted by everyone in the village and his sister when he got home. They all mingled around for sometime until Amarra stood on a table. “Every one I would like to have your attention please.” She said and the chatter stopped and everyone looked at her. “Thank you. I would like to say that you will not see much of us for quite sometime because Adian and I are going to travel the world” When she had finished there where slight murmurs from some people others just stayed quiet and had a surprised look on their faces. “I know it is a bit of a shock but we are old enough to take care of ourselves I mean we have been doing that since our parents died on that horrid day.” She said and bowed. “Thank you for paying attention for as long as I needed.” She got down and walked outside with Adian. “We don’t have any weapons you know.” She said “You may not but I do.” He said pointing to the sword on his side. “where did you get that?” Amarra asked “I have been saving money up from random works and I had enough to buy it.” he answered smirking “so older sister do you still think I don’t think before acting” his smile widened when his sister shook her head. “Well it looks as though I’ll have to use that money that was given to me last year for my birthday” she said smiling her own I’m just as prepared smile. “To buy what I got the last weapon in the village.”
“Well I guess you’ll have to defend me until I can buy one.” she said. “But I do know a little magic so you wont have to worry too much.” Adian’s jaw dropped. “when did you learn magic?” he asked wanting an explanation. “I read and mom apparently was a little bit of a witch herself so I kinda self taught myself .” she laughed and went back inside to say her goodbyes.
A little boy named Stanly who knew Adian quite well came out “We’ll miss you Adian your our hero.” Stanly always looked up to Adian and respected him. “Oh. I know you will little man but this isn’t the last time your going to seem me.” He said bending down to hug the Stanly “I’ll be back trust me.” He stood and walked back in “Everyone I am sorry for doing this but Amarra and I will take our leave of you now and be on our way.” Amarra joined him and they bowed. “Goodbye every one.” They said waving.
“Now where do we go? We’re out of the village and the next one isn’t for a few miles” she asked “oh hold on we got all day. There’s no need to get you panties in a bunch” he said walking along the road “just come I know of a weapon that you can use and it wont cost a cent.” He said heading toward the forest. “Where are you going? Adian… Adian… ADIAN!!!!” She yelled at her little brother. “Oh. Do shut up Amarra. You’ll scare them away.” he said back. “scare who aw-.” Her voice trailed off as she noticed the little village of cowardly looking forest elves. “They have a special bow that I used to train to use but then I found out I was better with a sword. I think you may have the right stuff for the bow.” he said “If it chooses you that is .” He finished. “Chooses me what are you talking about?” she asked “here see if you can use it” he said handing her the enchanted bow. She pulled it back and aimed for the near by target. Shoom! The arrow whizzed right off the bow and directly into the center of the target. The cheer could be heard all the way through the forest. “Congrats big sister you have what it wants.” He said turning around and walking out of the village. “Now we don’t have to worry about buying you a weapon, now all we need are a couple mounts but I don’t know if the next town sells any.” he said shrugging. “Come on sis lets go.” He said heading east for the town of Nebar.



Chapter 3
Nebar


The sun was setting as Adian and Amarra walked through the gates of the town Nebar. “Its too late to go looking for any mounts lets just head for the inn” Amarra suggested. Adian nodded “Your right I’ll go look around tomorrow. Lets just get some rest.” They walked to the inn and asked for two rooms. “I am sorry, but we only have one room” said the inn keeper “That’s fine I guess my sister and I can share a room for now.” Adian said paying for the room. Amarra nodded “yeah I guess its fine.” They went to the room and where asleep in no time.

☼ƒ☼ƒ

Some time later a young woman walked into an inn. She was about five feet tall and had short blond hair and was dressed in a nobles outfit. “Good evening miss what do you need?” The innkeeper asked. “A room please.” She said in a cutesy voice. “I’m sorry miss all of our rooms are full but one and I believe its reserved for someone named Cirean Bell.” He said looking at her. “I am Cirean Bell my father reserved the room for me three weeks ago.” She said in a firmer voice. “Ah. Yes that’s right I am so sorry for not recognizing you Lady Cirean but your hair is a little different than that of the picture your father sent.” He said bowing “I told him not to use that picture. Anyway I’ll have the room key now if you please.” She said a little frustrated. “Yes, Lady Cirean right away” the innkeeper said handing her the key. “Please forgive my ignorance.” He said as she walked away.




please tell me what you think