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I told myself I was going to go to bed at 10:30 tonite.
That was the goal, until my mom came in the room at 10:42 to ask me how to hyperlink to a website. Then at 10:46 about how to hyperlink to an email address.
At that point, I went out and sat on the couch in the living room and sat there for five minutes, then started cleaning up.
1:10, I'm on Gaia after mom's failed her online test, because she didn't get enough answers from me.
That was the goal, until my mom came in the room at 10:42 to ask me how to hyperlink to a website. Then at 10:46 about how to hyperlink to an email address.
At that point, I went out and sat on the couch in the living room and sat there for five minutes, then started cleaning up.
1:10, I'm on Gaia after mom's failed her online test, because she didn't get enough answers from me.
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I'm tired.
Party City is going fine so far. Other than the big shitty s**t stain which was Debra Messanger demanding to know why we charge per balloon. "I'm only ringing up what this balloon order says to ring up, ma'am." Of course, a line formed. And half of the things she had at the counter needed price checks.
When I finished with ringing things up for her, one of the bags slipped off on to the other side of the counter and broke a little piggy bank she bought. For the first day solo, it was bad. I called Susan, the GM up on the intercom, to get the lady a refund.
And the lady said to forget about it, with an attitude.
"How long have you been working here?" asked the lady I rang up after her.
"Today's day two, more or less."
"I thought so. I probably would've started bawling if I had to deal with that lady..."
In all truth, being so tired and just not knowing what the ******** to do, I was close. ._.
Party City is going fine so far. Other than the big shitty s**t stain which was Debra Messanger demanding to know why we charge per balloon. "I'm only ringing up what this balloon order says to ring up, ma'am." Of course, a line formed. And half of the things she had at the counter needed price checks.
When I finished with ringing things up for her, one of the bags slipped off on to the other side of the counter and broke a little piggy bank she bought. For the first day solo, it was bad. I called Susan, the GM up on the intercom, to get the lady a refund.
And the lady said to forget about it, with an attitude.
"How long have you been working here?" asked the lady I rang up after her.
"Today's day two, more or less."
"I thought so. I probably would've started bawling if I had to deal with that lady..."
In all truth, being so tired and just not knowing what the ******** to do, I was close. ._.
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I don't have an auto-pilot yet.
At BYB, I've got an auto-pilot. I don't have to think -- I just do. I know exactilly who to talk to to get things done, I know where to go to get whatever I need, I know how to ring up everything, I know how to do everything there, other than how to get in the safe.
It's uncomfortable, not having an autopilot and having to ask people how to do things and forgetting to staple coupons and having to call up the managers when I ******** up. Deep down, I am a perfectionist. I do care, a lot, about the things I do. I do care about BYB, because it's something I do, I have an effect on it, be it in presentation or performance (or both, as it always is).
I get frusterated when the fries don't all fall into place. Neat how that can be used as a metaphor and literally.
At BYB, I've got an auto-pilot. I don't have to think -- I just do. I know exactilly who to talk to to get things done, I know where to go to get whatever I need, I know how to ring up everything, I know how to do everything there, other than how to get in the safe.
It's uncomfortable, not having an autopilot and having to ask people how to do things and forgetting to staple coupons and having to call up the managers when I ******** up. Deep down, I am a perfectionist. I do care, a lot, about the things I do. I do care about BYB, because it's something I do, I have an effect on it, be it in presentation or performance (or both, as it always is).
I get frusterated when the fries don't all fall into place. Neat how that can be used as a metaphor and literally.
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But I do good by everyone else's standards, apparently. Susan made a point of saying that if all of the other trainees that she'd ever worked with had caught on as fast as I am, she'd be ready to train more instead of hide away in her office. Jackee makes a point of telling me that I've done a good job that day, that the dining room looks fabulous, that my drawer is right on, that they're really going to miss me at the end of this week, and asks if I've changed my mind.
Honestly... I was close to it today... ._.
Honestly... I was close to it today... ._.
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You know, if I never got tired, I could work both places, and watch the kids and come home and clean messes I didn't make. I could take Steph to school, go to BYB until 2, watch the kids for a couple of hours, take Steph to school, go to Party City until closing (9:30 now, midnight during the Halloween season), come home, clean for a couple of hours and get about 4 hours of sleep a night.
No more online time.
No more piddle ********.
Everyone would be happier that way.
I'd have enough money to pay for gas, smokes, and food, and enough to start saving up for other things, like a car of my own and maybe college, should I ever get the oppertunity. Kim would still have her free babysitter and housekeeper. Mom would still have her maid.
I'd just be tired as ******** and lonely...er. ._.
No more online time.
No more piddle ********.
Everyone would be happier that way.
I'd have enough money to pay for gas, smokes, and food, and enough to start saving up for other things, like a car of my own and maybe college, should I ever get the oppertunity. Kim would still have her free babysitter and housekeeper. Mom would still have her maid.
I'd just be tired as ******** and lonely...er. ._.
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I have the insane desire to cuddle someone.
Just cuddle.
I promise to be gentle.
I promise to make you breakfast.
I promise to go out of my way to make you comfortable.
I promise to be the most romantic being you've ever encountered, should that be what you want.
I promise to give you your space.
I promise to be there when you need me -- ******** the world, I'm always here.
Just let me hold you and not have to pretend you're someone else.
Just want and let that be.
What I personally feel is odd, is that I want that from anyone of my friends.
Maybe because I love them all, in mostly platonic fashions.
Maybe because I just want to feel someone whose real.
And maybe, because there's nothing better here.
Just cuddle.
I promise to be gentle.
I promise to make you breakfast.
I promise to go out of my way to make you comfortable.
I promise to be the most romantic being you've ever encountered, should that be what you want.
I promise to give you your space.
I promise to be there when you need me -- ******** the world, I'm always here.
Just let me hold you and not have to pretend you're someone else.
Just want and let that be.
What I personally feel is odd, is that I want that from anyone of my friends.
Maybe because I love them all, in mostly platonic fashions.
Maybe because I just want to feel someone whose real.
And maybe, because there's nothing better here.
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I'm going to bed.
Wake me when forever comes.
Wake me when forever comes.
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