Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

This is an apology;
To you, From me.


I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that every day,
I paint on that canvas that is my face.
That I let the colors swirl,
And blend,
And create.
That my feelings decide to hide
Instead of seek.
That a masque emerges,
Obscuring those words of thought in my head.
That my tears beg to be absent.

I’m sorry for everything that happened that day.
The day the problem that is me was created.
That my soul ever arrived
At the party that is life,
The party that will never accept.
Sorry that the shutters wrapped around my eyeballs
Ever willed to rise and wake up!
And blink in the light of dawn.
That the wheels in my head
Decided to turn and not still.

I’m sorry that you never met me
And yet you believe the words that fly,
The things that leave the caves that are their mouths.
Sorry that I was fashioned into a revolting creature,
And that I’m not worth a fair opinion.
That you never took into thought,
That I couldn’t hurt anyone but
My own underserving self.
Sorry that you chose to scroll over me,
And reply the comments that knew little.

And, most importantly, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
For wasting your time,
For letting a gust of air fill the chimes in my chest.
For making you squander your precious eyes on this thing,
This child’s rant.
I am so truly sorry,
Sorry that all I tried to do,
Was be Me.