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Okay, that's not quite true. I think the enorphins from Color Guard practice helped solve the problem. I was feeling oddly....invisible today. I don't know what it was that really set it off, but even this morning at like seven I was already really irritable. I'm not mad at mom for having a boyfriend, but it makes me feel so....old, like I'm the mother watching my daughter have a boyfriend while I go off to work. The reverse role thing is messing me up. And I know my ortho people didn't mean it, but treating me like an annoying little kid who needs to be reprimanded for biting into a sandwhich and accidently breaking off a tooth (which was obviously disfunctional if the stupid thing broke in half) seems rather rude, if I may say so. After that, Mr. Bayless got to hassle me about my essay (which I wrote tonight) and I was like "Ugh, dude, do you see this I'm-on-the-verge-of-either-tears-or-suicide look? It means leave me the ******** alone."

Then Jason tells me that he might not go to the dance cause of his uncle being in the hospital and no I'm not mad, but I was a little selfish and thinking "you better come cause having a date's the only reason I'm going and it's kinda interrupting my whole Saturday evening." So that made me want to scream as well. Then I was just wandering around during lunch and I don't think I've ever felt more invisible in my life. I sat down next to people and it's like they didn't even notice I was there and then I'd start talking to someone and somebody else would come up and interrupt and Poof! Obsidian magically disappeared! AHHHH!!! Emerald tried to console me at lunch, but I think I was kinda beyond consoling at that point. Was seriously considering ditching Color Guard practice and going home and curling up with L and waiting for the apocalypse.

Chemistry had the potential to help. Probably would have had we actually had a lab, but we didn't. We all sat at our desks and worked on a lab by ourselves. The one time I seriously need social interaction and he tells me to stay put. I was about ready to just grab my bag, tell Sloneker I was not in the mood today, and stroll right back out the door. EPBOTA noticed something was wrong and tried to help, but she wasn't much consoling either. I guess I just really want someone to like me like me. And no, Daniel and Gunnar do not count! I mean, someone who I actually might even consider as a boyfriend, someone who, even if I don't like them that way now, could learn to. I want someone who just seems to care for me enough to wake up and immediately be like "I wonder what's up with Obsidian right now..." and I could be all "I wonder what so and so is doing." It'd be nice to have someone who cared like that (you know, besides parental units and such)

Luckily, Color Guard seemed to liven me up a bit (only during like the last thirty minutes, but hey! I felt better on the walk home). Came home, ate some salad from like two days ago, had some strawberries and whip cream and (of course!) my ultimate comfort food, peanut butter! (It's right behind my mom's amazing oatmeal. Delicious!) Feeling a little better now. Blew off studying for math to do a yaoi drawing of Lelouch from Code Geass. Ah, sweet yaoi. Always brightens my mood. And now I'm sitting on the couch in a pair of new size seven jeans wondering if I should keep em....They make my legs look freakin amazing, but they're a little too high and too tight up top.... Not sure what I'm gonna do with em. Well, now that I've vented (again. sweatdrop ) Loves and Laters.

P.S.
I'll be fine. Promise!