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So here i sit at this same keyboard yet again trying to organize my thoughts so that when i say all the things i am thinking i can manage not to get to many people annoyed at me. Lately i find there are a few people who just dont talk to me anymore and this would be fine with me if instead of avoiding me they had come to me and said they wanted nothing more to do with me and no longer wanted to talk. The whole ignore me thing is starting to get alittle old and honestly i believe it is actually starting to piss me off just abit. I have always been loyal to my friends and maybe to a fault i dont see my being treated this way as right or something in the end i actually deserve. Though i know there are alot of things i do deserve and not all of them good this was not on my list ninja Bottom line people i am who i am. maybe looking back on life so far i have earned my way into hell maybe i have started to look in the direction of redemption i am not really sure but i guess my first step is to figure out just who and who is not my friend anymore. I have learned a few things in the last few months and some being people are not always what they seem <sad but true> there are people around that just like to jerk others around and at this moment crap do i feel jerked around. Makes it harder and harder for me to actually have a relentionship with anyone. And for the record the last one i was in i actually had my fingers crossed cause i thought he was the one. He did make me happy for a time and i guess that is the important part but i guess you have to kiss alot of frogs to find a prince and even when the frog turns into something noble it may not be what you are looking for. Or in my case i was not anything he was looking for in the end. Saying i love you does not mean what it used to i guess. I still hold firm no matter how much people in this world throw it around like it means nothing and is easy to say I still believe saying it is a meaningful thing and i only say it when i mean it honestly and truely. Alright so i have rambled and complained just alittle more on my livejournal one of these days. i guess i should be breaking out the confettii and throwing a parade for those of us who managed to get back together with their girlfriends and win his job back.. how special is that??? xp alright so enough babbling from me more later from my world. hope everyone had a good halloween and everyone made out like bandits in the candy departments.


wisdom from rogue's world