My dreams, how someone just shatter them so quickly yet then someone can just recreate them so fast. The love of my life. I can't even go out and feel that feeling because I don't know if I'm scared. I use to say no guy is worth your tears but still the point is in my life is completely different. Ryan. Sweet old Ryan who came in perfect the road became bumpy then smooth then bumpy again like now. I can't start to believe everyone even if it is Shane. I owe him that much after all my lies even if I just made some up. Not too fair if you ask me. My life can really suck sometimes if you ask me don't you think? Anyway the point is back to everything I guess. I am going to pretend like everything is normal and sweet old Cam well be right there with me. Along with all my other buddies right? Yup they are right behind me plus I might be dead for having the lab top in my room no doubt Ashlea would notice right? Yeah. My life seems all too well compared to others and I almost broke my own rule of no crying over guys after what I found out about Ryan. He may like another girl. Another girl. Yeah who would it be though? I guess I just don't have the strength or maybe guts to be mad at Ryan. After all we have both done. I can't force him to date me for a lifetime then let him go like a dog. Who am I to do that? He is special to me I guess I had better realize that completely and also realize that skateboarding may just be not my sport huh? Next thing snowboarding which is awesome by all means. Now that I begin to think about things I noticed that...well......I lie more than the regular human should. That has to be bad for me...Well find out soon I guess. Now I think I am getting just a little too attached to Angel's nice little cd there. Lol that can't be good right. Still now ashlea's b-day is up whats next?????? Even though I'll add on when I feel night for now.
 Khmerhomegurl · Mon Oct 10, 2005 @ 05:07am · 0 Comments |
Yup thats me!