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i did not know how
to describe the way i felt,
that strange,
complex feeling

i did not know why
i suddenly became silent when you spoke,
or when you came near me
and why it added to that strange feeling

i did not know when
we became friends,
and started conversing,
or when we were screwing around

i did not know who
i wanted to be with, if anyone.
to kill time with,
and to make laugh.

i did not know,
and i was stuck in confusion.

but now,
after a few years,
i have begun to find answers
to these questions, and manny more.

but now,
i know.

how to describe the feeling-
it was intoxicating, and it felt great.

why i became silent-
because i loved you, and afraid to admit it.

when we became friends-
when i heard your laugh, and you heard mine.

and who i wanted to be with-
you, and for much longer than we did.