I know who I am, I know very well, but sometimes I wish I wasn't.
Everyone always says "just be yourself", but what if you don't like who you are?
I don't mean not liking the way your hair grows, or the way you talk, but like, thoughts that pop in to your head and after thinking them, you think, "man, how s**t am I?", "I'm a terrible person". "Why did I just think that?"
I most definitely don't dislike who I am, there are lots of things I like about me, but there are things that I really hate about myself and I don't understand how I continue to be like that, even though I hate it so much.
Am I alone?
:l
It's really hard to explain how I feel, but me, I'm just trying to get this s**t out so I can see it, read over it, and then see what happens.
I'm trying so hard to not be the way I am on the inside, I have to endlessly suppress things that I think, because if I were to just let it all go, not give a s**t any more, I don't know what would happen, but I know who I would be, and I never want to be like that.
Am I good person for not letting these things out, am I a bad person for thinking them in the first place?
Is there a difference between a person who thinks bad things and suppresses them, and someone who doesn't think them in the first place?
Or am I just trying too hard to be a good person that I actually turn out to be a jerk?
Everyone always says "just be yourself", but what if you don't like who you are?
I don't mean not liking the way your hair grows, or the way you talk, but like, thoughts that pop in to your head and after thinking them, you think, "man, how s**t am I?", "I'm a terrible person". "Why did I just think that?"
I most definitely don't dislike who I am, there are lots of things I like about me, but there are things that I really hate about myself and I don't understand how I continue to be like that, even though I hate it so much.
Am I alone?
:l
It's really hard to explain how I feel, but me, I'm just trying to get this s**t out so I can see it, read over it, and then see what happens.
I'm trying so hard to not be the way I am on the inside, I have to endlessly suppress things that I think, because if I were to just let it all go, not give a s**t any more, I don't know what would happen, but I know who I would be, and I never want to be like that.
Am I good person for not letting these things out, am I a bad person for thinking them in the first place?
Is there a difference between a person who thinks bad things and suppresses them, and someone who doesn't think them in the first place?
Or am I just trying too hard to be a good person that I actually turn out to be a jerk?
