Have you ever thought of what death might be like? Or what happens when you leave your physical body to go to another form? I do sometimes. I think the most heartbreaking thing for me to think about isn't the fact I would be leaving anyone, but the fact I would be leaving the only thing I had come to know. The only thing that I knew how to control. I would be out of control of what was going on around me and the thought scares me so much that it feels likemy heart skips a few beats when I think of the last moment I will ever have upon this earth?
What will my next form be? What will become of my meger exsistance? Will I become someone completely different with other morals than the ones I taught myself were right? Would I want to be different? Well that is easy to answer and hard. I sometimes wish I didn't have depression because of the things it creates but I've had it for so long I'm scared of a world without it...an unknown world...a world that death could bring.
So yeah, I think about death. Sometimes I think about it so much that I forget that I'm just a 16 year old girl who, if death was going to hit her, probably wouldn't have time to think about it. And I realize that I am just a 16 year old girl. We shouldn't be thinking about the last moment of our life, but the ones that will make our life count. But sometimes I slip up and lose myself to wonder, no the horror of death, and I see that I myself am a selfish, unique, and crazed individual who is afraid of losing control. And that's the worst part...I fear the inevitable.
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Undo the strings attaching me to myself
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