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Whatev...
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Let's see, it's about 12:30 A.M. and I am bored out of my mind. Going to sleep could possibly help with this, but I'm going to shove it in a bunch of insomiacs' faces. See, I make fun of them because unlike them, I Can go to sleep, but I won't!!11! HAR HAR HAR! Anyways....
I dunno, I never really thought..... wait, I take that back. I constantly wondered if I had some form of depression, but I can't think of why I would have it. I mean, I have an 8.5/10 life right now. I can't think of anything serious that's happened in the past 8 years, and even then that event shouldn't have been THAT important. I don't need a job right now, I have a nice Mom and sister, and there is really nothing to be bothering me. Maybe that's the problem. I mean, you can't have everything for free, right? Oh well.
As for more happy news, This heart turned into this crying . Ok, not necessarily like that, but.... no, not really like that. It more turned from this redface to crying to rofl . Cereally, it did!1!!
You see, at the beginning of the school year, I met a girl who, for a reason chosen through a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, started talking to me. Anyways, we became good friends. I started to like her which spawned my first annoying problem; trying to tell her I liked her. Now, if you know me in real life, I'll rip out your intestines if you tell anyone off of Gaia mrgreen . Back to the point, in real life I am incredibly shy. This is quite embarrassing for me, as I am a loud mouthed.... Arse... Anyways, as soon as I decided that I would tell her this, she told me she's had a boyfriend for the past two years and that he had graduated last year (I'm working on a thought, but that's for another day). Now, I had to get through my next problem; living with this. I really didn't like this odd and annoying turn of events. I had spent half my time at school and more with this person and now when I feel all special inside, This! So, yeah, it sucked. Now, I have a kind of guilty conscience, I think. I really, really don't like thinking about things that are what I consider morally wrong, for example, wanting something that isn't yours. As a result, everytime I tried to think up of some way we could get together, I brutally (Mentally, of course) punished myself. Remember, mentally. There is no physical pain that can beat the mind's torture. So.... Yeah, this puts me in a stupid and un-needed spot. If, for some God-forsaken reason, you have read Twilight (and you should be burning at the steak [Yes, steak] right now), think of it this way; She's Bella, He's Edward, and I'm Jacob. I don't think the baby option is realistic here mrgreen .

Ok, now that I'm done with that, I think.....*YYYYYYAAAWWWNN* I'll go to...... bed..................... *SNORE*

P.S. I just remembered, I had a disturbing thought when I tried to sleep last night (This is while I was still conscious). I, for some awkward reason, imagined that I was looking at myself from the third person. Then all of a sudden, one of my eyeballs popped out and it was hanging by the 'cord' (for lack of a better term and being lazy). Suddenly, some guy jumps in out of nowhere and starts chewing on the 'cord'. I doubt this is a thought that goes through normal people's minds, but I'm not other people, so I can't say......... So yeah.






User Comments: [2] [add]
monkeylovepop
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Dec 31, 2008 @ 05:22pm
damed it you do damed if you dont


commentCommented on: Tue Jan 06, 2009 @ 06:41am
Wow Jason. You kinda brought back some memories for me... And I think I am in a position that is similar to yours in the whole depression part. I finally got the girl of my dreams (those memories that were brought back have somethin' to do with her). And well life is good. My dad got out of prison and I don't see why I am feeling really depressed lately... I kinda have some stuff that I wanna tell you but I have to tell it to you over the phone or something. And that whole thought that you had could be some strange thought hinting at suicide. Not saying that it's true or anything but I am just giving a point of perspective... I listen to late night radio talk shows sometimes. mrgreen

About that girl that you like.. I have been there. Somehow things worked out for me though. I guess you just gotta keep it up and hope for the best. Jessenia (my gf) realized that I made her happy when she was down in the dumbs and that I was always there for her and her boyfriend never was. I am not exactly sure how things are with the girl you like but you just gotta hope that she "sees you" and if not... move on.

Also, try to get proof somehow that she has a bf. One way that girls try to get the guy to like them is to get them jealous. Or so I have heard. So maybe she is just tryin' to get you jealous.
Just a thought.

Anyway, sorry if I am not helping.

P.S.
I get my 360 back in a few days! mrgreen



Grimnas
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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