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Rants.... =^.^=
Memory Game CHAPTER TWO
When did it get so dark out? I stared up at the starlit sky for a good 5 minutes. It seemed more like midnight rather then nightfall. Why was it so dark now?

I looked around and nothing was as it should've been. I was just jogging terrified to my house, so why am I on the opposite end of town? And most importantly, in a dead end ally in the middle of the night? Was I soo scared that I never realized my legs were betraying me? Whatever it was, I know what I'm doing now.

I turned around to walk out when I realized there was a man standing there. All I could see was his shadow. I made out his tall, muscular figure with wildish hair. I seen his whole body trembling in anger, with fists to his side. What got to me the most was the loud, growling sound coming from him.

Within every step forward he took, I took one back. What was strange was that even though I felt confused and scared, I also felt excited and in control. Something unusual screamed out danger in my head, but said it like a sugar high. An adreniline rush.

I was backed against the wall now, as far as I could go. Although I could tell I was in serious danger, I wasn't crying like I usually do. And when that figure suddenly jumped towards me; shape changing from human to a wild, hairy beast; I didn't move. Even if I had moved, it wouldn't had made any difference against his speed.

I didn't een get scared until I seen a blur literally fly down from behind me. It was over soo fast that if I blinked, I would've missed it. But to my surprise, I actually knew what happened.

The man quickly grabbed the creature by the throat, to be flicked off like a bull rider. The man then used his feet and the throw to leap from the ally wall from a side of a building, onto the back of the creature. He wrapped an arm around the creatures neck, holding him in a headlock. The creature tried to break loose, flicking the man around like a rag doll. But that rag doll wasn't going anywheres. Soon enough, it slowed down as the creature collapsed. Or rather, the creature turned into a man and collapsed.

"Are you all right?" A young, gentle voice asked me. It was smooth, yet deep. I could see his slim, toothpick figure and his red, glowing eyes in the darkness. That was it.

There has to be something wrong with me. A huge, dog-like creature attacked me and I don't even care. A man that saved my life and asked if I'm all right, and I feel as if I'm going to die. Yup, definately a screw loose.

"Well, are you? Are you hurt?" he asked again, but with a tint of frustration and impatience. But it was a good question, am I all right? I just got attacked, houldn't I call the police or something? No, because then my parents were going to flip out. Of course, my parents! They're going to flip when I get home because it's already dark. And Stephanie.... I don't even want to think of her revenge.

One time I put her on hold to use the bathroom, and forgot. It was only about an hour later I clued in when I walked by the phone, and seen it off the hook. She was still waiting. For revenge, she tied me up to a chair; played Spice Girls on repeat; and left my favorite curly fries right in front of me for hours.

The thought of Stephanie being mad again made me shudder. But for some reason, the thought of my family made me cry. No, worse then then that. My heart felt lifeless, and I felt like I was choking. It wasn't the same nightmare of them dead that made me feel this way, it waas just the plain thought of them that my body acted automatically this way. It's as though my own body knows what's going on better then I do.

"The situation finally sank in." he said like he was stating some sort of fact, rather then a question.

"N-no, I don't care about that...." I sobbed, while wiping the tears hoping they would stop soon. "I-I don't know why, but the-the thought of m-my family makes me do this." I explained the best I could. He was quiet for a moment, and still. I wish I could see his face right now in the dark. I wondered what he must think.

"We should leave.... Before it wakes up." the man said calmly, almost like a whisper. And for some reason, his frustration that was in his voice before was replaced with hopefulness. It took a few seconds for his words to sink in.

"We? As in, together? Where are you planning on taking me?" I asked eagerly, trying not to tremble too much.

"In case you have not noticed, but you became the target of a Werewolf!" he hissed at me through his teeth. As he said it, he quickly appeared right in front of me. Our faces were only inches apart from each other.

Now that he was soo close, I can see him better. He has the same black hair with blue tint as Paul, but somehow silkier. It was perfectly straight to his shoulders, but also layered. He had a tiny ponytail in the back tied by a long red, thin ribbon that ended with his hair. He had perfectly smooth, pale white skin that reminded me of a china doll. It took me a while to stop staring, and to sink back into reality.

"Why? Why would a Werewolf want me?" I asked in the toughest, even voice I could come up with. It was a failed attempt, I even noticed my voice cracked. He stared at me before he replied. He looked at me like he was looking for something. As if I was hiding something of value from him.

"Yes, that is also what I wish to understand." he replied in a dark, flat voice. It was then I clued in to a few things. One, he was speaking like somebody from the old days. Two, there's no such thing as Werewolves. And three, I felt as though I was prepared and expecting this to happen. Like I seen it in a dream, but it wasn't suppose to be there.

"Are you still scared? Do not worry, I will protect you from the evil mutt." I think it was his own, weird way of trying to reassure me that everything was going to be all right. The way he said it though, he made it sound like he was boredly stating the obveous.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I should be more scared of this pale guy more then the so called 'Werewolf.' That's when I remembered my past nightmares of the Werewolves fighting Vampires, and something clicked as I gasped and stared at the Vampire before me for a long wile with wide eyes.

"What? What is it?" he asked quickly, on alert. Something in my face must had made him uneasy because he looked terrified.

"You!" I started, in disbelief, "This can't be true, no!" I thought out loud as I started crying again, but I was too distracted to care this time. "I've seen you before, I've seen you!" I choked out, terrified. he grabbed my shoulders securely, and looked at me with intense fury.

"Where? WHERE?" he growled at me, almost like he wanted to kill.... possibly me. I took a deep breath to catch myself before I replied.

"I've seen you.... in my dreams."







User Comments: [1]
Salem Jones
Community Member





Sat Mar 21, 2009 @ 11:05am


I felt like this chapter moved too quickly. It's good to add details like what her surroundings look like, maybe weather, fill it in and make it meaty smile

I also felt like Sarah's emotions could have been managed better. The Werewolf attack could've at least spooked her instead of leaving her staring (even if your approach is that perhaps she is a little spacy and weird, or not easily fazed, although she seems to get very emotional throughout the chapter). And she also comes to trust this new man too much, even asking him "eagarly" where he would be taking her...

And last, I did not like the beginning. It was'nt badly written, but for her to suddenly find herself in another part of town is a bit farfetched. She could've easily also taken a short-cut through the park, or perhaps she could have been walking down the sidewalk towards her neighborhood and noticed something down an alley that makes her curious and draws her in.

Sorry, I hope I did not come off as picky or annoying or anything like that. I just wanted to help you out... I like your story and I hope she gets home soon so I can finally see what exactly is going on sweatdrop


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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