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You fought so hard to get your sobriety, and now you just throw it away?
Why even waste time trying to stop your addiction if you just succomb to it in the end anyway?
Alcohol was your everything, and you knew it. You didn't spend time with your family, and spent too much time with your friends. You did some really bad things, and you begged for forgiveness. We only forgave you because you promised you would change.
Now look what you've done.
I know it helps you get through things, and I know your dad just died, but you don't need it. You can get away from the hurt and the pain while still sober. You don't need anything to numb you, your strong enough to get through it.
I love you, we all do. Remember that while your at Pete's next time.