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i had a nightmare last night. i woke up yelling "of course i am an idiot" well at least i think that was what i said. i was rather groggy. i was dreaming about fighting with my evil uncle. he just kept saying horrible things to me. such i as i am a loser, i do not amount to anything, the idiot comment, i am stupid. oh also he was commenting on how fat and ugly i was. emotional abuse it seems, that it spans to the subconscious also. i feel very drained today. the thought of him makes me cringe and feel very small. i have had many nightmare, mostly violent and scary. however i have never had an emotionally abusive one before. it left me as scare perhaps even more. it was awful. i felt like a child who had a nightmare. this has not happened in a long time. normal nightmares are just an occurrence, i wake up get a glass of water and that is it. this was groggy and scary and made me feel very awful.

i had a sleep over last night. it has been a while since that happened. my friend wanted to watch scary movies. i am not good with them. we wound up trying to watch i am legend which i have not seen. well i kind of freaked out and could not watch it. i could not help it. i got to the part were the dog was transformed. i just could not handle it. he would lose his only companion. as i said am not good with scary and sad. i like happy movies with happy ending. so now i am watching mansfield park, with its pretty language and happy ending.