Squirrels....fuzzy or just plain evil
squirrels... the cute, fuzzy, adorable, little munchkins we see, or... the evil, plotting, mischievous little devils they r behind closed tree trunks. some squirrels are not that bad. i have a squirrel friend myself who spies on the little demons for me. i cannot disclose his name for he is in the PISWPPSWSFH (poor innocent squirrel witness protection program for squirrels who spy for humans).
what's my proof?... have u noticed how they have the ability to walk the power lines? they're unaffected by the surges of electricity flowing through these line, but if a human tries it, they r electrocuted! why?... because they are EVIL!!!!!!! also, they want revenge! after all those cars squishing their family members, and not even digging a grave after they hit the squirrel, after a while, they snapped!
you may think i'm crazy (twitch twitch) and you're probably right. my psychiatrist sure thinks so! all u have to do it resist the squirrels is follow these easy steps. step ..1-keep ur eyes open for any squirrelish activity. they have many ways 2 attack us. step ..2-by really BIG tires 4 ur car. step ..3-build a squirrel attack shelter. step ..4-call the animal control. let them deal with it. step ..5-notify the president.
now that u know how to resist those furry dr. evil wannabes, u can go out into the world and report back to the SFAOWHSLAGPFB (squirrel fighting association of americans who hate squirrels like a goldfish's passion for bowling). be careful. they are ALWAYS watching. in fact they might even be-- GASP!-- there's one now-- behind you!! OH NOOO!! ha ha ha. made ya look! i have given u a full warning, so PLEASE take my advice seriously. i know what i'm talking about! i am a professional! indeed, i graduated from the highly honored KINDERGARTEN!!! i think i have said my fill, so i shall now end! end.
NOTE: THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!! THIS ARTICLE IS FICTIONAL! and i didnt right it my best friend amanda did and i wanted to put it on here cause i thought it was funny! =) blaugh
