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What I would do if you...
ninja Had sex: Yell at you then take you to get tested.
ninja Were pregnant: Give you an hour-long rant everyday and shoot you tons of pitying looks till you go buy the Pill. (Seriously, do you want to support a child at the age of fifteen and be like those teen parents that I hate?)
ninja Got raped: Take you to get tested right away.
ninja Got raped and was inpregnated by the rapist: You're going down, damned rapist!!!
ninja Were pregnant and it was mine: -wails- I can't believe I can't conceive a child! Wait, why would I ever want kids? Lol.
ninja Did drugs: Beat the living shyt out of you, of course!
ninja Killed somebody: Was it really neccessary? Try to bail you out of jail.
ninja Got murdered: Kill myself.
ninja Had thoughts of suicide: -cough cough-
ninja Stabbed me: You've done that before and I stabbed you back.
ninja Grabbed my a**: Holy crow! -slap- What the crap?!
ninja Told me you loved me: Say I love you back. No homo. Lolz.

YOU SHOULD DRINK CUCUMBER FLAVORED BEER!!!

wat would u do if i...
had sex: Wouldn't care cause every one else does it
was pregnant: tell to to get an abortion or at least a good baby's daddy
got raped: try my hardest to find who raped you and hurt them really bad
got raped and was inpregnated by the rapist: same as the one before
was pregnant and it was urs: s**t bricks
did drugs: tell you to stop and be there for you one little step at a time... enless it was pot(which is not a drug it is "god made" wink then i wouldn't care
killed somebody: cry then turn you in..but fight for you to get out.
got murdered: cry for days at a time and commit suicide
had thoughts of suicide: hope they weren't serious
stabbed u:be shocked then fake my death and when you weren't looking run and never talk to you again
grabbed ur a**: grab urs
told u i luved u: say i love you back.