Everything from the past 18 months that was important to me, i remember. His face. His smile. His voice. His tears. His laughter. His touch. My heart beat. That's all i ever wanted. Now i have to face the future and leave it all behind. How can I leave behind that which became such a huge part of me. I was no longer just me. Everything i did and dreamed was an us thing. He doesn't love me. I know that. He never said he did. We were never more that friends. One does not decide who they fall in love with though. Now I have to pull away from the feelings in order to keep him safe. I must try to forget so that I don't hurt him. The first time I saw him smile i knew that i would do anything to see it again. His laughter was like a drug to me. Every time that i saw his pained eyes or his tears, I renewed my vow that i would never be the one to cause them. Only to help heal them.
How can I leave these promises and memories and feelings behind? Only God knows. I pray that He will aid me in this and heal me from the pain that this could cause.
singin4Christ Community Member 
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