So if no one reads this, then that is absolutely fine with me.
This is just some things that i have read and, i think, say a lot about myself.
Hence the reason why they are notes to myself, and not to you.
I have been doing a lot of research as to why people act the way the do.
How they act in certain situations and how they cope.
A lot of confusion has come up and i'm trying to figure this out on my own.
I am not asking for help as of yet.
There are a lot of things that are wrong with me. As many are to you too, probably.
But i am still curious as to why i am the way i am.
Almost like a self discovery...as you can probably tell, i'm very introversive.
I want to find out more about who i am and what i am meant to do.
Maybe this is a regular teenage phase, though i have been thinking this way since the 6th grade.
And i know that some people are never satisfied and remain curious in these kind of things, even in their adulthood.
Sometimes these kind of self-asking questions can't be answered.
I'll probably start "writing" in this journal more often.
The more i find interesting in my research, the more often i will update...
Here is something i found today that describes an important part of me :
"The tense-afraid type of procrastinator usually feels overwhelmed with pressure, unrealistic about time, uncertain about goals and many other negative feelings. Feeling that they lack the ability or focus to successfully complete their work, they tell themselves that they need to unwind and relax, that it's better to take it easy for the afternoon, for example, and start afresh in the morning. They usually have grandiose plans that aren't realistic. Their 'relaxing' is often temporary and ineffective, and leads to even more stress as time runs out, deadlines approach and the person feels increasingly guilty and apprehensive. This behavior becomes a cycle of failure and delay, as plans and goals are put off, penciled into the following day or week in the diary again and again. It can also have a debilitating effect on their personal lives and relationships. Since they are uncertain about their goals, they often feel awkward with people who appear confident and goal-oriented, which can lead to depression. Tense-afraid procrastinators often withdraw from social life, avoiding contact even with close friends."
So i apologize in advance...
Though many of you out there are probably very similar to me.
Everyone is similar, almost the same actually.
I would have to explain that theory in another entry...
It was one me and my friend realized, though i'm sure we aren't the first to do so.
Anyways...
There is a lot more i have also found out but i'll save it for another time.
Time to stop.
::Tsumi::
