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If you enjoy reading this, you deserve a hug. But you're not getting it from me.
Today was not a good day.
Today was bad. I woke up thinking it was Friday, so you can understand how disappointed I was when I found out it was Tuesday. TUESDAY! Whyyyy? I hate school. I want to sleep... I am so tired. I just want to stay home and rest. And I am sick, and getting sicker. Not fun.

I am bored, too. There is nothing to do... I just stay home, go on the computer, listen to the same music, look at the same things.

OMG MY NOSE IS RUNNING.

There we go. That is what sleeves are for.

I just remembered something, let me check it.

Ha ha... that made me happy. Funny shizz, man.

Hmm... what now? Life is boring. I am still excited about that concert on Saturday. Music festival, whatever you want to call it. It was awesome. Best time ever. Saw everyone I wanted to see, and more. Great. Now, if every day could just be like that... life would be perfect!

My school... is evil. The people there, the location, the everything. My whole town. This area, is hell. Boring. Cold. Evilness radiates from every corner. Yeah, that little corner by the bathtub that no one can seem to get all the dust out of? There is evil in there too. That is why it is never clean. I want to leave this place and never come back. Leave it all behind, though I will take a few things with me. And a couple people. Maybe.

I'm so cold. What will I do next? The same as usual? Yes, I don't mind re-reading things. Re-watching, re-listening, retarted. Heh, awesome. I think... Twitter is cool. If you were wondering what I did earlier, it was Twitter. Checking out some people's Twitter... very funny. I wish I had friends like that in real life. That would be awesome.

What next? Nothing. Nothing next. I want to keep typing, keep writing, keep getting my thoughts out. But they, my thoughts, are pretty dull right now. Well, they are rather exciting, but the exciting parts... I will keep to myself. They're too good for all of you.. well, maybe I will tell you.

Religions = Evil.

Basically... yeah. That is what I have been discussing in my head for a while. Seriously, they seem pointless to me. Unless you really need something to, believe in? But most religions just scare me. Especially those hardcore Christians and Catholics! They scare the life out of me. It is like the religion just runs their life. What they don't understand is, you don't take the bible literally. It was written in hard times, and was supposed to give people hope... I think. I really don't know anything about those religions. Well, nothing besides the fact they are evil and brainwash people. The bible is evil. But... I guess I can't say too much, because I don't know too much about these religions.

Oh well. There goes my entertainment... I could go study up on religions... or study for two tests I have tomorrow. But I won't. At least not right now. I am so tired. I want to sleep. But I can't. Insomnia and sleep paralysis put together... well, what do you get? Let's think about this...

You can't sleep.

When you do sleep, you get sleep paralysis...

You get a very tired person.

I just want to sit here forever. It is kind of cold, but it is fine. I would be perfectly happy forever if I could just sit here, keep typing, and listening. This music makes me happy. I don't care what anyone says about it. I love it. People are not smart. They lost their minds a lot time ago... it is what evolution does to creatures.

I don't love you I'm just passing the time.

You could love me if I knew how to lie.

But who could love me, I'm out of my mind.

La de da... I type too slow. I couldn't keep up with the song. Maybe they just sing too fast. Or maybe I am just a slow typer. If I am a slow typer, then that means everyone else in my computer class is really slow, because I am the fastest typer in my class. Just my class. Oh well. Not everyone can be smart.

Ahhh... my foot is getting tingly. I need to move. This position is not comfortable. Neither is this one. Ah, that is better. Oh no, wait, now my back is cold. Ok, fixed.

What will I do now? Didn't I already think about this? I think I did. Oh well. I will just keep typing, whatever comes to my head.

Let us wait and see what comes...

Ryan Ross.

Nahh, I don't want to think about him right now. Too much happy leaves you depressed.

Now, get out of my head Ryan.

Leave... please?

No! Don't leave. I will deal with the depression later if I can just get a few good moments of happiness.

Ok. Did you realize... that for every amount of happiness I recieve, there is always a greater amount of sadness to follow? Too much happiness this past weekend. Something horrible must be coming.

WHY DID THE MUSIC STOP?

Why does it keep doing that? It didn't use to do that.

Ah, cramps. Ugh, those mozzerella sticks. I hate being allergic to milk. I love cheese too much. Ohhhh... it hurts. I should go to the bathroom, make it go away. But I don't won't to stop typing. I wouldn't mind if I stopped listening. I don't want to listen to Metro Station. I know what I want to listen to, but my stomach. Oh, it has passed, for now. It will be back later. It will be back later if I don't rid myself of it now. But no, it will be back later, because I won't leave this spot.

I wonder what will come to my head next...

Why hasn't Ryan Ross left yet?

Oh wait, I remember now. I decided I wanted him to stay. Ok then. AHH! MY STOMACH. Ohh, it is gone now. But the music... IT'S STILL PLAYING.

Nevershoutnever. Much better. Make me happy. Remind me of this weekend. So close, yet so far... I love that quote. I don't know who it is a quote from, it is used a lot. I read it in a book the other day. But this is a new book, and I have loved that line for a long time before.

Did it hurt...

YES IT DID AND IT STILL DOES.

You know, I hate a lot of people. I want to be the power saw masacre... like the chainsaw masacre... only with a much cleaner cut. Less mess to clean up, maybe. I don't know. I have never decapitated anyone with a power saw before. Maybe someday, but not today. I am too tired.

I wonder how long this is? I guess I will see in a little bit. I wonder if it is really long! He he, that would be cool. Like a story, like a story I never finished. Maybe someday, but not today. Another line I like. I will start keeping track of those.

So close, yet so far.

Maybe someday, but not today.


Don't you like those two too? Two too to. Um, homophones? I think. I don't know. I should really study for those tests, and finish my math homework. But, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to do next. I will just keep typing until I can decide.

I wonder what I will decide to next. Maybe I will just keep typing until one of my parents comes home, and they tell me what to do. Oh, but I want to sleep. I want to take a hot shower, and then go to sleep. But I can't take hot showers. It dries me out. I shrivle up like a prune. And I don't have my lotion. I need to go back to the dermatologist. I am using my apple body lotion from Bath & Body Works. I love that store.

You know who else does?

Alex. Yup. Alex. Long time no see... where have you been hiding in my head? I try to talk to you, but I can't. I can't talk to anyone, lately, for some reason. Maybe it is because I am so tired. I just want to sleep. But I can't sleep. So what will I do? I don't know. But whatever I do, Alex will keep me company when no one else does.

I was just thinking, today, about my future. At this rate, if life keeps going the same, I will be alone forever. It is not a happy thing to know. Really, that is not something you want to know. You would much rather keep hoping and believing that someday you won't be alone. But someone like me... I don't know. I am too independant. I am too... I don't know. I don't know if I am independant. I don't like being alone, but I don't like depending on people. I hate depending on people for things. I like to be able to take care of myself. Which I can. So, I guess, being alone is not all that bad. Sometimes, I do get lonely, but it is the price you pay for making these choices.

I think, now, this is long enough so that maybe no one has read all the way down here. So I can write about whatever I want, and no one will judge me.... maybe. I don't know. I don't know a lot of things... that makes me sad. I don't like not knowing things. It is scary.

What will tomorrow bring? I don't know. Hopefully, I will get sicker. Odd, I know, me, saying I want to be sicker. But at least I will have an excuse for being this way. Ugh, so tired.

My leg fell asleep. Or did it? I can't tell. I think it did. I am not really paying attention. Oh, but when I curl my toes, I get that tingly feeling. And my knee is beginning to hurt. Ohh, and my back. Why does it all hurt so bad? I don't like this. I don't know why it is happening. But as I am a diamond, and only diamonds can cut diamonds, I will keep going. This is nothing but a mere... scratch on the surface. But nothing below.

And so, I will go.






User Comments: [2]
Ellen Roth
Community Member





Wed Apr 08, 2009 @ 04:06am



...


iiMakeYouWet
Community Member





Fri Apr 10, 2009 @ 04:42am


Take me!


User Comments: [2]
 
 
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