the other night i was with my BF and well i got up to get food and i guess my phone fell out and all so he picked it up and i guess looked at the first few textsone of which was "cuddles back" which i had sent to a friend in florida that i am "taking a brake" from and i guess that he jumped to conclusions andthought that i was cheating on him. and well i would never want to do tha to him. he is so sweet and kind and hes a good listener and all and so i guess he doesnt really trust me much anymore and i ended up not sleeping much last night and all because i kept having dreams about him and how happy he was and all and i kept wakeing up and crying and all so i went to school and in first period it was ok but in second which it choir for me i started to cry and couldnt stop and the stupid teacher had no simpithy for me at all and while im like hunched over crying in my seat hes like Wheres you book? we all need to go over this. and just to make it oh so much better he had a sight singing quiz and i think im going to have to go retake it and i dont want to but my mom will most likely make me.... and then so like my mom is turning into my step mom and doing all of the stuff that i moved away from and all and its justdriving me crazy and she just doesnt know when to stop...i just really wish i could redo a buch of stuff last night and all cause it just sucks having to do all of that stuff...and have it be totaly awkward between my and my BF and look at him and not be able to tell if he is ok or not even though he says that he is and to want to just die because he doesnt feel well and he doesnt trust you and he loves you enough to give you another chance and just hope that things go back to normal and that you can gain it all back and that he will intime forgive you for something that you really didnt do...its so weird when you want to see him smile more than anything and you cant seem to make him smile again and its just like being hit hin the stomach and not being able to get rid of that rock in your throat...i love him i do and i dont want to lose him or hurt him and i wish that i could take him and just make him mine and not have to worrie about anything else and just be ale to sleep by his side and be held by him and cuddle and kiss when ever we want. i love him i really do and i hope that he knows that and wont let our relation slip because of something small.... emo
smexy emo 24 Community Member 
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