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Hooray for my heroic roommate! Vanquishing the dreaded, bloodthirsty arachnid!
The feared fiend crawled across the carpet from under the cavernous depths of the Underthebed, eliciting screams from hapless and helpless denizen (me). From the catastrophic horrors rose up a hero, a brave and strong warrior from the south-east border. Alerted to the cries of the innocent (sorta), this hero leapt into the fray! Raising a weapon of convenience, the mighty hero bashed a size eight leather sole down upon the fiend's crown. As the sandal was once again raised, the monster jumped and landed out of the hero's sight, but not for long! Once again the weapon landed upon the fiend and this time turned the villain to jelly. For good measure the hero rubbed the eight-legged corpse into the carpet. The spider is now no more than a smear.
Satisfied, the hero rode off to the far-away golden arches for a heroic feast (of sorts).
Now the left behind citizen wonders... are there more?