What would you do if you knew that you could've changed an outcome, but didn't? What if it turned out worse than you wanted, because you made a mistake?
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My friend and I recently had a fight. I was infuritated that she thought so little of me, and I was even more infuriated that I thought so highly of her. How the might have fallen, right?
Well, after a few days and a song that touched my heart, I realized something. I've never been in a real major fight with a friend, and that I really missed her. I really missed my best friend.
So tonight, I decided to send her an apology, hoping to gain her back as my friend. I loved and love her. I thought she was self-centered, a b***h, but isn't that was being friends was about? Realzing the faults of others and then accepting them for who they are?
I sent the message on Gaia and via email, when the thought finally dawned on me. My friend was having family problems, and the last time we talked she was drunk. Maybe she could have..?
I thought the inevitable. I thought she might have taken her own life. And at this very moment, I don't know if she did or didn't. And I'm crushed. I can't live knowing that my stupid, idiotic, insensitivity killed one of my best friends. I can't even think it. I only hope that she just didn't read it yet. That maybe she didn't get it yet. But what if..?
But right now, I only want to know. I really just want my friend back.
If you're reading this, the one this entry was written for, please at least reply. Even if you hate me, please, please...
I just want to know that my friend isn't what I think she is.
-Ren
-------
My friend and I recently had a fight. I was infuritated that she thought so little of me, and I was even more infuriated that I thought so highly of her. How the might have fallen, right?
Well, after a few days and a song that touched my heart, I realized something. I've never been in a real major fight with a friend, and that I really missed her. I really missed my best friend.
So tonight, I decided to send her an apology, hoping to gain her back as my friend. I loved and love her. I thought she was self-centered, a b***h, but isn't that was being friends was about? Realzing the faults of others and then accepting them for who they are?
I sent the message on Gaia and via email, when the thought finally dawned on me. My friend was having family problems, and the last time we talked she was drunk. Maybe she could have..?
I thought the inevitable. I thought she might have taken her own life. And at this very moment, I don't know if she did or didn't. And I'm crushed. I can't live knowing that my stupid, idiotic, insensitivity killed one of my best friends. I can't even think it. I only hope that she just didn't read it yet. That maybe she didn't get it yet. But what if..?
But right now, I only want to know. I really just want my friend back.
If you're reading this, the one this entry was written for, please at least reply. Even if you hate me, please, please...
I just want to know that my friend isn't what I think she is.
-Ren
