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I dislike senile people... they confuse the life out of me and I'll tell you why.
My mother put the garbage can in the bath tub for no explainable reason and started filling it up with water the night before and after that she was crawling around the living room table for hours last night. She'd get up, crawl around to the other side of the table, attempt to stand up, then crawl back over to the couch to sit back down where she'd nod off for a few minutes before doing all that all over again. She did this a total of 12 times before I just helped her to her bed, because before she'd tell me to go away every time I got close claiming that she didn't need help with anything at all and that she could manage on her own.
Today it started with my mother waking up scrambling to get to the clock in the living room thinking she was late for a funeral. There is no funeral. There never was a funeral. In a hurry. Thinking she was late she waddled to the bathroom demanding her jacket while stripping all her clothes off, completely. She sat on the toilet with her clothes off and the door wide open still demanding for her jacket. I told her that she didn't need her jacket to use the washroom and she yelled at me "Do I or do I not have a funeral to go to?" Now this whole time her words are slurred and/or mushed together and not making sense, so it's difficult to fully understand what she's saying, so I make out the best of what I could.
I told her, "There is no Funeral. I think you're losing your mind." I sat back down to try to ignore it but she came right up to me, topless, and still demanded her jacket as if she actually thought she had something to do. While I was making a cup of tea, she asked me what I had done with her clothes and asked me why she was naked. I didn't know. Last I saw she took all of it off in the bathroom and sure enough, there it all was. She came out talking to me about some missing link to our family that doesn't exist and that they wouldn't take care of me even if I begged them to, fictional or not. After that she started saying something about her 'apparent friends' (her words) would care more about her death than me or anyone I know and care about while living, speaking as if she was already dead and contacting me from beyond the grave while STILL thinking she has to go to a funeral. It was here that she started calling ME crazy and I am the senile one losing their mind. She does this a lot. I think it's a form of identity crisis where she takes her own faults and shortcomings and portrays them onto the others around her while completely oblivious that they are her own faults.
She asked me if I had school today and I said yes, but not until tonight. I think she thought I was still in day/high school by the way she asked me and then she swiped my bus pass from me and fiddled around with a whole bunch of other cards, like Social Insurance Number cards, Health Cards and birth certificates for the better part of 45 minutes. For no reason. At all. I kept asking her if she had somewhere to go and she always responded with "Of course I do" but never actually explained what or where when I asked. I have no idea what she was doing but she went up and vanished to her room for a several minutes before coming back out and handing me her Health Card telling me to put it in my pocket because she has a habit of losing it. I told her "This is your health card." She said "I know. I want you to put it in your pocket because I'll lose it." So I replied "I'm not going with you." For her to tell me "I know you're not going with me. I want you to put it in your pocket because I have a habit of losing it. Just trust me." I didn't know what to do, so I just pocketed it. What else was there for me to do? She opened the front door and stood there for a minute only to close the door and act as if she had just returned from a long exhausting vacation, asking me if I missed her while she was gone and if there was any mail for her. I told her that she didn't go anywhere and she believe she did saying "If I didn't go anywhere, how come you look older form when I left?" This really hurt my head because there was no sense or logic to it at all.
I wanted my bus pass back and when I asked for it she argued with me saying that she already gave it to me and I had put it in my pocket a long time ago, and whatever I did with it from there was my own fault. This kind of thing hurts me all over. It's too confusing. It makes no sense at all. I've seen many random things in my days that make no sense at all, but this is not only not funny, but it still hurts my head to think of it all. I don't know what to do.
Later in the day mother started mumbling something that no one could understand saying things like "that looks so good, don't you think that looks good?" while staring at the T.V. not making much sense at all. A moment or two later she said "Bring me something that looks good like something that looks like a smiling cat butt." That hurt my head to type it out, let alone hear it being said. Since no one knew what she was talking about she started crawling on the floor picking up things off the ground and eating it, while apparently the "something that looks good" meant something to eat. There is plenty food but she didn't want any of it because she wanted "something that looks good." While I was in the kitchen she was drooling over the cat until I asked "What are you doing?" She could only say "Is that a cat tail wagging around?" I didn't know what she was talking about so I just said yes and she wandered off to her room still looking for "something that looks good" while continuing to not make sense... at all.
Another random incident happened today and they seem endless as it just doesn't stop happening, not even for a good hour of peace. She comes out of nowhere and says."MS?" My brother responds with "What?"where she snapped at him repeating herself "MS! I thought you said MS." Where he simply said "No." And she had to snap back and say "Well I'm sure it's MS and I know it's MS." Turned around to head down the hall where my brother practically yelled at his game "That witch! She stripped me. I'm completely naked!" Where he was talking about a boss in a game completely removing all his character's equipment. My mother had to be senile enough to freak out about this saying "You #$%^ing pervert! I didn't know I raised a filthy pig!" Of course, this made no sense to either of us. "Didn't he just say that in order to beat the game he needs to strip and rape a hot b***h?" Of where we both replied "no." In her own delusions, she refused what we said was truth and believed whatever she wanted to noting what we said as "bull s**t."
Just a moment after that she starts digging in the closet for a was Pink umbrella. We don't have a pink umbrella so naturally we didn't understand what she was talking about when she asked about it. We had, instead, a black Umbrella and after that was pulled down out of the closet she asked "What happened to our Pink one?"... "We never had one." Trying to be funny and failing at it she said "bend down and I'll make it pink." Which by any sense of the logic makes no sense while proceeding to open it inside and think she's walking around outside with it attempting to tell us that she's never been outside at all today.
This is where my brother soon explained to both her, and myself (since I wasn't awake at the time) that someone had called an ambulance on my mother because she was acting like a bat-s**t crazy zombie in in the corner store, Beckers. That must have been embarrassing... but I knew nothing of it until told and I grow ever more upset and frustrated by the whole state of affairs the more it continues and the longer the days feel.
A whole big deal arose when my mother, out of her senility, couldn't find her Bank Card. She asked me to give her my card and my pin number for it so that she could use it for whatever she wanted. Requesting me to claim that I lost my card in the morning and/or change my pin/pass number. I didn't want to do that. I don't see why I'd have to change everything on her whim when she can't sacrifice a thing. So I helped her look for her Bank card all over her room. Half way through she didn't know what she was looking for and I kept trying to explain that we were looking for HER bank card. Shortly afterward, during that, she started acting like we were looking for MY bank card, explaining to me that I can just claim I lost mine in the morning when that was exactly what I was explaining to her a moment ago and when my brother asked what the commotion was about she got all confused again and claimed that we were looking for HER card when I said she was acting like she was looking for MY card and the whole frustrating ordeal continued.
The tail end of it all was that my mother attempted to "run away from home" while singing a song that goes "Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I think I'll go out and eat some worms." Only to forget what she was doing mid song and give up leaving the house again.
And that is why I dislike senile/crazy people. I have no clue what to do about this, but I thought it would be a good idea to keep track of all that happened, because I know she wouldn't remember it in an hour or two, let alone a few days.
 Kraeven · Wed May 27, 2009 @ 09:02pm · 4 Comments |
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