Mood: Bleh. -_- ^-^
Currently Listening To: Nothing At The Moment. x.X "Glaring Dream" - The Ending Theme Of Gravitation. wink
Currently Listening To: Nothing At The Moment. x.X "Glaring Dream" - The Ending Theme Of Gravitation. wink
You know what? This is stupid. I was just typing this up when I started thinking about yesterday. And the day before that. And the week before that. And...
OMFG. My dad just came in, read my *PERSONAL* journal, and then lectured me because "Life Doesn't Suck" and now he's blaming himself, I think.
I'm sick of everybody these days. It's always them prying into me. What? I don't need pity, ok?! I don't need someone asking me about everything. I just want some privacy.
But why, then, do I crave for someone?
I don't know. I guess I just feel like I need someone just like me sit there and just...understand I guess.
It's a weird feeling. You know? Just someone that I really want to talk to. Not anyone at school, not my family, not a conselour.
People ask me (they do)...Why are you that caught up in an a world that doesn't exists? Why do you obsess so much about anime shows? Why do you dream and pretend to talk and interact with them?
Well...I always thought about it, and I tried to stop, too. I really did. But I always found myself talking to thin air, pretending I was talking to an anime or video game character. I thought long and hard. Am I crazy? Maybe. Or do I just need someone to talk to. Someone that I can pretend to hear...
the response I wish I could here.
The image of being there for me exactly how I wish it could be.
The friends (whom my real friends I love with all my heart) that are there for me at 2 am...when I'm crying.
When I'm lonely, if I go into my fantasy world, I can make something that can make me feel better.
When there's noone to hg, or cry on...is it a crime to just hug and cry on your pillow...or teddy bear...and pretend that it's someone who cares?
That's why, I think, I like anime and manga and video games so much. I can take those characters that I think are so cool, the characters that have something I can relate to, even just a little bit, and turn them into comfort.
So is that crazy? Maybe. But it helps me make it through tough times.
And I understand; there is a real world, and that is where I truely live. i DO have friends and family and people who care for me, and I love everybody that are my friends and family, you know? I DO understand that I have to deal with problems face to face. I do the best I can.
But my imagination helps. ((so a big ARIGATO! to everybody, including that anime creators and such. xD))
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I guess typing that has made me feel better, because now I feel content and better. n.n It's good to type out your true feelings, it really is a big load off your shoulders, and I think I needed that. ^^
Wellllll....it's 6:43. Once those Naruto episodes finish downloading, I think I'll go take a hot bath ((which'll make me feel even better, I bet!)) and then go to sleep early. In the morning I think I'll make coffee. >w<
Wow, I'm feeling pretty good now! ^.^ ((I'm so proud of myself. cool ))
And I'm thinking that for Christmas, I'm going to give my closest Gaia friends some avatar art. ((Note! 97% chance of it being low quality and uncolored; due to lack of talent and having to resize....and no tablet yet either. T.T ))
Laterz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, I'm changing the name of this entry ((hence the scratch outs. xD <3))
Community Member
I'm glad that letting it all out helps you. It seems to help a lot of people to let out their true feelings, because you can't just be happy all the time. (Even though I like, try to be. xD) Adios, amigo. <3