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where my all my posibilities are on a page
this "journal" is a place where i say things that can and can't have reasons. btw try not to compare me with anything in comments.
my birthday party...
okay, i tried to be as positive as possible... (no thinking about brothers, no cutting, and no negative attitudes)
It started with a busy day, trying to be prepared for the party (it turns out I didn't have the party supplies...lol)
so I picked up my friend Cindy to help me out, and while were out shopping, MY MOM GOT ME MY PRESENT, CONTACT LENSES! i wanted gray...but there wasn't any so I got turquoise! ^_^ (You should of seen how much I had to be held down for my mom to put them on me xD )
well during the party, I had a great big smile...even when the neighbor(s) screamed at me for being to loud and knocking stuff down....BUT I KEPT DOING IT ANYWAYS!
So...umm...interesting parts... yeah............ um My ex/best friend came, and he and I ..........hugged...and then I slapped him! ^_^ cause I always said "next time I see you I'll slap you!", so umm yeah I wasn't kidding lol. He happened to be quiet at first (and since I knew I couldn't let him bring me down, I did my best to cheer him up!) I knew that if I smiled, he would feel better... so that's what I did! I said "Hey come on! cheer up! you said you wanted to see me, so look happy!" all he said was "I don't talk or laugh much..." (that didn't stop me though.)
He got better because he started giggling and commenting more, but he really woke up when my mom asked "who wants the last 5 pizza slices?" he screamed and flew out of his seat "ME!". I was like "damn.... I thought you don't eat much. lol"
and then a truth or dare game happened... they asked truth or dare... I said "Truth..."
"is it true that you like Victor?"
".....................not true. O.O "
he whispered "well you used to............"
I was too nervous to say anything back... all I did was blush. Even then, I wasn't sure of my feelings for him...
After a few minutes, Victor got dared to kiss me............... eek
I said "umm... I don't think so... no."
then everyone else said "not lips... cheeks?"
"no."
"greeting kiss?" someone said...
"still no!!!!" I screamed
Everyone pushed me closer to him....... and I tried to push them away (lol maybe I was over-doing this... it wasn't like I was going to get raped or anything...) everyone yelled "come on! it's not like it will kill you! what's the big deal of a fake kiss?"
the truth was that........ I wanted to kiss him, but not there... it was very disturbing,especially when I didn't know how I felt about him.
so once I gave up from avoiding the dare, he grabbed me by my shoulders *blushing* and gave me and two air kisses
I was completely speechless.......... (question: Do i hate him? Do I love him?)
Well, after that little moment... MY FRIENDS GOT THE WORST DARES! One had to lick the floor (LMAO) another had to lick a tire (ROFL) my friend Cindy had to go on the bed of a pick-up truck (that wasn't my car) and she had to dance (lol) and Victor got dared to hump the dumpster (ROLFLMFAO) but he was too chicken to do that! and I had to scream really loudly "ME SO HORNY, OH SO HORNY!" (OMG LMAO)
In cake time, I blew half of the candles until I remembered I had to make a wish... (lol). When everyone sang the happy birthday song with the lights off and the candles lit, I felt really weird........like I was going to cry... but I knew I couldn't. I wonder if the weird feeling was... Stephanie inside of me, after-all it was her birthday. Well anyways, my friends were about to dump my face in the cake, but instead I told them to take their fingers and give me a cake-make-over (lol). and suddenly, i made the cake-on-your-nose style!
Before Victor left, he said "...can I have a hug?"
I smiled and whispered "sure." *blushing*
One hug to last until the next time I see him.
The party lasted until nine (lol) and once everyone left, I walk towards the bed and just fell asleep........... I must of been higher then I thought! lol





 
 
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