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At school... a normal day was a day with a headache, pondering what is right and wrong.
But today...my head hurt more than usual, something was different today.
I had no sign of darkness in me before until I thought of Jinxx... She knew exactly how to take control of me, and that's what she did.
I was near one of the people I hate the most, a perfect way to get me mad. Once the guy insulted me for the first time, I was more than ready to fight... but I couldn't. I needed a weapon first of all and if I hurt him once...I might not be able to stop. One thing I fear: to lose control over myself and kill someone.
Somehow I managed to get away from everyone and sit alone at my desk. I felt something coming...it was... the adrenaline. My hands shivered, the idea of screaming was neccessary, and the absence of my knife made it painful.
Later on, I felt an unusual feeling everytime I looked at my veins in my arm... so I had to cover them with paper towels under my sweater. There was a boy in my class who had scars everywhere from losing control on his bike, so like the idiot he is, he picked the scars and his legs were covered in blood... my heart beated faster... What was I feeling? I knew I was sacred... One thing I fear that I shouldn't: blood from someone. Fear...soon turned into anger. My adrenaline was back... my hands shivering, my face red from trying to avoid everyone from looking at me, and I knew Jinxx was back. The blood softly dripped down his pale skin, with one thought in my head: beautiful. The thought of vampires were somewhat pathetic to me, but cutting myself was different. I stared trembling at his bloody knees until one drop fell and shattered on the ground, there, I lost it. I needed to see my veins, I ripped the paper towels to shreds and without thinking I burried my nails into my skin, no control over my thoughts. Once I realized what I was doing my arm was electric red in the shade and reddish in the light... I wondered why. I slipped my sweater tighter to my arm, when I looked back a few minutes after...my sweater wasn't white anymore, it was red. I was scared, I kept counting on me not being like this when I became 13 but some things don't change.

I keep wondering...................................................am I crazy? (as in mental). I don't want to sit with a nurse to try to make her think that she can change my way of thinking when she really doesn't care, I know that behind my back she'll talk about "what a insane little girl, believing that she has an addiction." and I certantly don't want her sympathy of pathetic "poor little girl" and rediculous "I hope she gets better."
I wonder... who am I now(would Aurora do this)? Who have I become(am I...Jinxx)? Who am I becoming(soon, will I be Jinxx 100%)?
I'm scared that I will become Jinxx at the worst moment possible... (when I fight someone...I can't stop, and I'm positive on that fact. I've become close to not stopping once. I know people make fun of me behind my back saying that I look scary, but not scary enough to fight. I wish I could prove them wrong, but it would mean risking their life, and the least I want to do is kill someone. Jinxx's aura is now sensed in my heart, and Aura's is fading... If I go to darkness, their could be a chance that I'll lose the light.)
Jinxx... Jinxx of Death.