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My friend Chris left today for the Air Force Academy. I don't know what time his flight is so I can't contact him. This note is the last of him I have. I hope to get a letter from him while he is there or get his address so I can write him. I'm going to miss him so much and I wanted to show how he said good bye.


It's funny how we expect the world to change with us. My world has been turned upside down, yet it is exactly the same. The heavens didn't open up, unleashing the rain to drown our sadness like the stinging tears on our cheeks, nor did the earth rip apart at some great fault like my heart is now. I've driven down Coit Road a thousand times, screaming for change. It came. I'm leaving. Leaving this place. These friends. Almost everything.

Everything but my toothbrush. I bring my toothbrush. I got a new one, from target. Ninety seven cense. It's still in the box. When I open the box, there will only be a toothbrush. No fond memories. No bad ones. It won't make any either. You can't bond with a toothbrush. Even if I'd had this toothbrush for years it wouldn't do me any more good than keeping my teeth clean. I want to bring my friends. I want the adventure to continue. I still want to love them. I want to tell them so every day. To see their smiling faces. To pull them up when they're down. Watch them grow. Instead I get a toothbrush.

You tell me I'll make new friends, new memories. I will. But I don't care. That doesn't mean I'm not losing you. I'm gone and so are my opportunities for enjoying your lives. Suddenly I'm a spectator. I will watch you through the letters you send me, but I'll be stuck on the wrong side of a cruel window. I won't be a player on the field anymore. I'm afraid my memories will become pictures in my mind. Beneath the stains of time, the feelings will disappear. The paper will slowly discolor, an ancient yellow. The edges will become rough and torn. Slowly I'll lose your face.

The strange thing is that this is what I want. I am happiest when those around me are happy. I want to help everyone with every single problem they have. Their problem becomes my problem, but it is my favorite thing in the world to solve it for them. In doing this, I come upon a problem myself. I can't help everyone. Not enough of me. We're going our seperate ways. I can't follow you anymore to be the shoulder you lean on. The air force is my solution. You are why I joined. I can still keep you safe. I can still protect you. I can protect everyone I love. I will never truely leave you behind.

I tried to see all of you in the incredibly few hours I had remaining. There was too little time. Then again, no amount of time would prepare me for leaving you like this. It didn't feel real. It didn't sink in. I said good bye to you. I didn't hear what I was saying. Now I have to say it again, knowing the awful meaning behind the words. I haven't cried since eigth grade. There went my streak. Good bye.