Me no made this but my friend did XDD enjoy~
Zero/Lelouch <3
...is mah favorite character in Code Geass.
...
but then this crappy guy comes in! D8 He pisses me off and his name is...
...
Charly.
Well not really, it's really Emperor Charles vi Britannia.
But insist it's Charly! D8
Let's have a closer inspection...
-He has white hair.
-He's double the length and width of a normal man.
-I just noticed he has a big toosh. xD
-If he died his hair blonde and wore a pink dress, than I think he'd look like some abnormally fat princess in a fairy tale.
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Why Emperor Charles vi Britannia is Lame.
By the Sumeragi Kaguya-sama.
He stays at home for decades. Hello? I mean, get out once in a while, man.
He won’t do his own dirty work. (Cornelia, Schneizer, other royalty scum) There’s more, but I’m typing longhand and hate hand cramps.
His nickname is Charly. Do I really need to elaborate on this one?
He’s literally insane.
He has to make everyone join him.
His armies have been defeated by outnumbered underdogs at least twice in the past year.
He stares WAY too much.
He’s nosy and irritating in an evil way, and he’s always changing people's memories. Jesus Christ, get a life.
He’s banned all the good stories and replaced them with lame ones.
He likes legos. [All his robots look like chunks of lego blocks.. meh]
Everyone who works for him dies. (This is probably because he makes them do his dirty work.)
It’s his fault his subjects are poor and illiterate.
He won’t just die already.
He’s been beaten by Mary Sues many, many times in fanfiction.
He’s never had a girlfriend (at least to our knowledge).
He could be a transsexual for all we know because he never comes out of his damn palace.
A bunch of untrained commoners got away from his powerful army.
He’s a generic, copyrighted villain.
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Ways to make Emperor Charles Even Crazier.
By Sumeragi Kaguya-sama
-Dye his hair a vibrant shade of green and say "OHEMGEE, it's a fat CC! D8"
-Stab him with a collapsible sword and say, "HUZZAH! I hath killed thee!" Then run. Very fast.
-Poke him. &3
-Tell everyone you meet, especially Lelouch, of the fat king's undying love for chick flicks.
-Give him evil looks while fingering a torch and a pitchfork.
-Get Euphemia to give him a wedgie. She's too cute to get in trouble anyways.
-Follow him around and ask him, "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be dead?" Close your eyes for a moment, than open them. Repeat question.
-Claim that you have an undying affection for him and hug him whenever you see him.
-Speak in a foreign language when he walks into the room. Don't translate for him.
-Ask him to hold a very heavy vase for you. If, by small chance he does, walk off and leave him standing there.
-Come back and stare at him. Ask him why he's still there.
-When you walk by him, pause and say, "Something smells funny..."
-Fill his closet with stuffed bunnies! &D
-Show said closet of bunnies to Euphemia.
-Slap him. For no reason at all.
-When he tries to kill someone, slap him with a dead fish and say, "NO! Bad CHARLIEWARLIE! D&"
-Act drunk.
-Try to convince him to give you a piggyback ride around the castle. Ask Euphemia to help.
-Decorate his room with happy things and posters that say, "Smile".
-Exist.
-Chant "Who stole th cookie from the cookie jar? Charlie stole the cookie from the cookie jar! &3"
-Tell him old people smell funny. Move away from him as you say this.
-Take the embarassing picture of him at that Pinata Party a few weeks ago.
-Threaten to show it to Lelouch. &3
-Glue him to a wall. Watch him and his bulging fat struggle.
-Wake him up with cold water early in the morning. Very early.
-Look at him creepily. When he asks what you are doing, just mutter "I see dead people..."
-Sing very loudly and very badly at every moment of silence.
-Strap him to a tree.
-Make some Eleven rape him. &3
-Say you have a very important message from the army. Then faint. A little while later, say you remember, then faint again.
-Hug him and sing "We are Family!"
-Tell him you're leaving. See if he cries of pure joy.
-Shave off all the hair he has.
-Sit on the throne whenever he walks by and proclaim loudly that YOU are the king/queen, and he's just a fraud.
-Continue existing.
-Replace his shampoo with arsenic.
-Or, if you're too nice to give him poison, just use honey.
-Give him odd looks whenever he enters the room, and mutter "He won't see me. He can't see me. He's just an idiotic fat-guy wannabe, thats right. Mah preciouss... 83
-Draw detailed images all over his skin with Sharpie marker when he's sleeping. You can take over the private parts too. ;3 ehehe...
-Throw an avacodo at him. Proclaim loudly it was Euphemia's fault. Conveniently forget that Euphie is dead.
-Make a cardboard cutout of him. Proclaim in front of him, many times, how much you love it. Later, while he's watching, stab it with a pitchfork. Don't tell him why. Just look at him with a crazy stare and finger the pitchfork all day.
-Fill his room with laughing gas.
-Catch many fleas. Place them in his bed.
-Walk up to him and ask, "I ran out of white hair. Can I borrow some of yours?"
-Glomp him whenever you see him.
-Laugh at him in general.
-Take all of the possessions in his room that aren't nailed down. Don't give them back if he asks where they are.
-Nail all the furniture in his room to the ceiling.
-Scream "YOU MISSED" every time he makes a mistake.
-Find all his clothes in his closet and take them. "You cannot have the precioussss... the preciousss belongs to usss..." Run off with it and don't give it back.
-When he's forced to walk around naked, proclaim he's the new naked king in the Brother Grimms story.
-Follow him around and ask him why he can't kill Lelouch so easily.
-Replace his favorite brand of cereal with dry cat food.
-Call him "Pinky".
-Sing the chorus line of "You're Beautiful" whenever he walks into a room.
-Find a picture of him looking like an idiot [oh wait! he's already one!] and post it on the Internet.
-Tattoo your name on his forehead in neon ink.
-Find a plushie of him. Love this plushie. Proclaim your undying affection for it. The next day, set it on fire when he walks into the room. When he asks you why, say "He didn't fit in..."
-Cover everything in his room with Post-it notes saying "MINE".
-Cover his pillow and mattress with fly paper.
-Tie him to a chair. Leave the room and "forget" about him.
-Paint everything he owns pink.
-Buy him a flowery shower cap. Wait until he goes into public, and then put it on for him.
-Fill his underwear with starch.
-Tell him he's lame. Constantly.
-Make waffles and tie them to his head when he's asleep.
-Talk about various fruits and vegetables. Wherever he goes.
-Threaten to tell Lelouch that his father sleeps with a stuffed kitty cat named "Fl00fy".
-Scream that Lelouch is coming at two in the morning. Keep this up for several weeks.
-Take his crown and run around the castle screaming "I AM CRAZY-KING!"
-Tell Suzaku that you'll make this world a peaceful place if he makes the Lancelot sit on Charles.
-Insist on calling him "Charly" whenever he's talking to important visitors.
-Add "But who cares?" after you say ANYTHING to him. [Ex. Lelouch got away from Suzaku again, but who cares."]
-Mimic him in a high, girlish voice whenever he speaks.
-Tell everyone you meet you taught the king everything he knows.
-When Charles inevitably starts screaming at you, just smile in a pitying way and ask: "Oh dear... did poor Charly forget to take his medicine again?"
-Think up a stupid question and continue to ask it no matter what he does.
-Glare and kick him in the shins whenever he passes you in the corridor.
-Throw the jam far at him during breakfast and claim that Suzaku did it.
-Shoot him in the butt with a suction dart gun.
-Hug him at random moments.
-Repeatedly sing, "I've got a lov-ally bunch of co-co-nuts- a deeddly-deedly-there they are a-standing in a row..." whenever the two of you are in the same room, not matter who else is there.
-Get all of his soldiers to sing "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine".
-Replace his sword with a nice wooden stick.
-When he's talking to anyone, snore loudly. Stop the minute he looks at you and point at Suzaku.
-Talk to him in business slogans. Constantly.
-Show him in an Code Geass Fanfiction that involves him dying in some gruesome, horrible way.
-Stand on his desk for two hours holding a spork.
-Tell him you have important news. Whisper in his ear "The sky is falling". See how he reacts.
-Wake him at two in the morning and ask him very personal questions. [Ex. Why are you so fat. Did you have sex with anyone recently.]
-Report all answers to Diethard.
-Fill his bed with lime Jello.
-Print off a copy of "Ways to Make Emperor Charles vi Brittania Even Crazier" and leave it on his desk.
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Ehh... I had more reasons, but now my hand hurts. D8
His stupid flag symbol whatever is this:
I'm sorry, but to me it looks like a lion and a snake raping each other with lettuce on top. I don't know where the crown comes in. Maybe it's... grape pudding in a jar.
...
But one look at it, and I can tell it's a rabid country of rapists. &D
And their leader is this guy!
Nevermind the people in the front, take a look at the guy in the back!
...
For some reason I kind of see him shouting "GAH I HATE JOO KAGUYA! D8"
... Yes, I hate you too. ;3
No, I dun't hate you, I want to kill you, shave you, decapitate you..
... let's not get into specifics shall we? ahurhurhur... &w&
But take a look at that face. Reminds me of Hitler. With white hair.
[shudders]
I also had a horrible nightmare last night... T w T
Charly: [deep voice] LELLOUUUCHH...
Lelouch: ...
Charly: LLLLEELLLLOOUUUCHHHH.....
Lelouch: ...?
Charly: LLLELLLOOUCHH...
Lelouch: for the last f--ing time, what is it?! D&
Charly: I wanted to show you...
Lelouch: ...
Charly: ... that I'm... a woman! [rips himself apart and a woman comes out! D8]
Lelouch: O_o" Does that mean my parents are homosexual... [goes unconscious]
Cornelia: Father, the army's force will-- WTF, who are you?
Charly: I am a woman, daughter. v.v
Cornelia: [dies] D;
Charly: D8 mah children. T ~ T
Then some stick figure comes out and shave him bald. O_o"
...
Messed up, terrible, weird dream, I'll say! D;
No seriously, imagine this guy as a woman!
... frightening.
Let's say bai to Charly; maybe I'll write about him more later. ;3
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