Quotes
I do so love funny quotes. So, here's a bunch of my favorite TV quotes.
INVADER ZIM:
Zim: Computer, give me all the information you have on the FBI. Computer: The FBI is a government law enforcement agency. Zim: Continue. Computer: Insufficient data. Zim: "Insufficient data"? Can't you just make an educated guess? Computer: O... kay... Um, founded in 1492 by, uh... demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to... uh, I dunno, fight... aliens? Zim: I KNEW IT! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zim: Lemony fresh victory shall be mine! ----------------------------------------------------------------- [Zim stuffs a globe into a goldfish bowl, goldfish is crushed against side of bowl] Zim: Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest Gir? Gir: I'm gonna eat that fish. Zim: No, Gir. The fish is part of the plan. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zim: They locked down their fortress - with locks! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Zim: Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it? Dib: Yes it is, Zim! It fell fro... Zim: Isn't it? Dib: I said it was! Man, Zim, you have a problem with listening. Zim: ISN'T IT? ------------------------------------------------------------------ Almighty Tallest Red: Fire some kinda laser... thingie at 'em; RIGHT NOW! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Zim: I put a tracking device on you. Dib: You did? Where is it? [GIR is grabbing the back of his head] Gir: Your head smells like a puppy! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Zim: Shut your noise tube, Taco Human! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Elves: [singing] Bow down... bow down... before the power of Santa! Or be crushed... be crushed... by his jolly boots of doom! ------------------------------------------------------------------
SEINFELD:
George Costanza: Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst. ----------------------------------------------------------------- George Costanza: Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Jerry: Ah, so you're crazy. Cosmo Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane that I just blew your mind? ----------------------------------------------------------------- George Costanza: My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It's one of the few things I do well.
FRIENDS:
Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and won! Chandler: Ross came fourth and cried! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Monica: You don't like the game, because you suck at it. Chandler: I don't suck at it. It sucks. And you suck. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.
THE BIG BANG THEORY:
Sheldon: I'll be back before this banana hits the ground! ------------------------------------------------------------------- Sheldon: Bam! ------------------------------------------------------------------- All: RUN MONTY RUN! -------------------------------------------------------------------
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