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I'm sick of hearing it.
I know that this is true. But when does one become old enough to be considered, 'not young' ?
Is this judged by how many mistakes you've made, lessons learned, and obstacles you've overcome? Is it measured truly by age? Would one say that by seeing the world for 30,40, or 50 years you know and understand? My whole life up until this point even, when I have a big decision to be made it's always the same thing..
"Oh, you're much too young. You can't even begin to understand."
Maybe this is true. But it is a part of growing up. My parents, grandparents.. they tell me that I do not understand, but maybe it is them that does not understand. They have not known everything since the day they were born. So why don't they cut me some slack? There will always be something out there, somewhere that somebody will not understand.
Telling somebody they don't understand is so discouraging. It makes you want to give up before you even try. Why bother, if you 'don't understand' ? It's a waste of time right? How will I learn, if people knock me down before I'm even up? How will I ever grow out of this youngness, if I do not learn? Is it that people are trying to protect me? Maybe, but life is full of all those negative things.. dissapointment, failure, hurt.. so why would they go through so much trouble to tell me I don't understand, so don't try. That itself.. hurts. What's one more mistake? One more regret? Life is full of this, and it's just another thing to add to the long list of life lessons.
Not understanding a word problem, or how a question is worded.. that is different. These are things that can be explained.. very easily in most cases. You realize the answer.. and then you move on. If somebody said, "You don't understand the concept," that does not hurt. However, what does hurt is when I gloat about how my new boyfriend is the greatest and I think I love him, or I go on about how much money I have in my account. Or for example, I complain about a sibling or a parent and how they just drive me nuts.. somebody rains on my ******** parade and says that I don't understand. I don't understand the value of money, I don't understand how love works, I don't understand the importance of family.. those things just irk me. Does anybody on this planet have a 120% understanding of those things?
Age isn't an excuse.. while I may still be naive, impressionable and green... this does not make me stupid. Even if I might not understand.. I will take the risk. For if I don't, I will never understand the possiblities that may have come out of it. I will never know, if it was a mistake or the best thing in my life. The more people say I don't understand.. the more I will rebel. I rebel, against those things in which I cannot stand.
I think it's just that people don't understand me..
 Nikki ` · Sun Jul 19, 2009 @ 09:42am · 0 Comments |
