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My First Novel
I've been writing a story for a while and have recently decided to make it a novel, I'll need lots of input from everyone to make sure it keeps the reader interested.
Chapter 0 (part 1)-Needs Name, Any Suggestions?
~Title Goes Here~


It was a day three years ago exactly. Freyr's father was outside in the yard practicing his swordplay. Freyr himself was thirteen years old. He watched in amazement as his father dueled with the three elite guards he was training with. After a grueling match his father stood victorious. He helped the guards up and asked "Same time, next week?" They all looked at each other, nodded and said "Can we bring a friend?"
His father gave his deep laugh as always and replied, "Sure, sure. Bring more than one if you want to." He got up and turned to leave when he saw Freyr watching.
"Son, I know you are fascinated with swordplay, but I might get in trouble again if your mother catches you watching me," he said nervously eyes darting to the sides.
"It's alright. I told her I'd be over at C's so she's not gonna come looking for me here." Freyr said confidently
"What about if she checks for you there and she doesn't find you? She would be worried out of her mind and would convince the entire town to come looking for you. It's happened before, remember?" he said, taking a few cautious steps from Freyr and angled his body as if to go home.
"I''ve got that covered too Father, she's meeting me here. In fact, she should be here any min--" he started and then was cut off.
"Freyr!"
Caci yelled waving her arms and panting heavily."Um, Caci, did you run here?" He asked.

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Comments please! Thank you.







User Comments: [4]
ales1996
Community Member





Sat Aug 01, 2009 @ 01:44pm


exclaim AWSOME exclaim


CinematicEyes
Community Member





Sun Aug 02, 2009 @ 05:44am


Not bad, not bad. biggrin There are a few grammer mistakes in it, but I guess I only notice that because I'm a literature freak. xd


Cyas Aetherius
Community Member





Tue Aug 04, 2009 @ 12:08am


Being what i am, i will not post what things mycomputer picked up, but all and all very nice.


Splatter_The_Skyler
Community Member





Wed Aug 05, 2009 @ 02:09am


nice
i like how u bring alot of description to what each person is saying
i also like what kind of words you put
keep up with the good work i wud look forward to this whee


User Comments: [4]
 
 
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