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Salutations, Stranger! It’s my pleasure to know a new face.
Allow me to share with you a tale of emotion.
Emotion seen many ways in many views, but one most certainly about emotion still.
It all started because of a dozen or so days at school.
On these dozen or so days, I stumbled across a schoolmate. A girl, if you will.
Or was it that I ran into her?
Or maybe bumped into her?
But it seems most fitting to say that I was “forced to deal with her inescapable presence day in and day out against my wishes”.
Anyway, whichever way of putting it made the most sense, I saw her at my school. A lot. Way more than I wanted to or needed.
So how is it I would describe this girl?
Unpleasant.
Insensitive.
Ill-tempered.
Violent.
Selfish.
Narcissistic.
Plain-looking.
Did I mention she was plain-looking?
For whatever reason, fate saw it fitting to pit us against each other day in and day out.
It was like a mind field was set up for our convenience whenever we’d have these little bouts, really.
All it took was one wrong word or phrase and we’d be at it for ages, and look at all the convenient wrong words there could be! The dictionary was a treasure trove of deadly explosives whenever it involved her! I was more than confident it was easier to count the words that didn’t make us mad between each other!
Yet, like all juicy conflicts, ours drew a crowd.
Insults were spat, bile was slung, and time was flying like a majestic wild eagle.
Even fists were thrown if it got that bad.
Once she walked away with a black eye.
I walked away with two.
In any case, our constant fights reached not only the eyes of the witnesses, but the ears of the general public as well. And when it reaches the ears, gossip ensues.
By my experience, gossip can be an awfully fanciful, yet amusing thing.
If you played your cards right, you could have the entire student body believing that a cult of fish-worshippers are conspiring to take over the school by tainting our cafeteria food and incorporating subliminal messages in our school plays, but I digress.
Guess what interesting tidbit the people surmised about what it is between that violent brute and I?
Love.
No, not that tennis score term, although that does remind me that I have a match to attend.
But that emotion that is apparently incomprehensible in word form, especially to me.
But from what I’m aware, isn’t love supposed to be a pleasant, if very awkward, sort of thing?
If that’s the case, everybody else must have it wrong.
That’s what I believed, anyway.
But those same people were convinced this is what’s going on between that girl and I.
So love must be a brutal thing.
I thought heartbreak was supposed to be much worse.
None of this really made any sense to me, so I decided to go about my own business.
This didn’t stop the others from crying my denial and wanting me to confess my feelings to end the fighting.
Frankly, I couldn’t be any more honest to her, as that would require inhuman wrath for me to make it any clearer.
Or a big billboard. I notice those things can really grab one’s attention.
But these unfamiliar interlopers explained to me that somehow this burning hatred I feel for her is actually love, and our perpetual conflict is some twisted expression brought about by stubbornness.
There was some other stuff they told me in their little lecture. Things that sounded disturbing and things that sounded pointless, but I wasn’t really paying attention it. I was just trying to reach an understanding.
But one key note they offered me is this:
“Love and hate are two sides of the same coin”.
And the key word they ranted to me time and time again is “denial”.
So if I took these words to heart, everything I understand is the opposite of how it really is, the world is upside down, and happiness and is masochism.
So after everything I’ve been through;
After all the yelling and fussing,
After all the vicious mind games,
After all the pain gruesomely afflicted,
After every single solitary death threat,
After all the times she shamelessly mocked my heritage,
And that time she picked on that girl I fancied from Drama Club without batting an eyelash,
This intense hatred of her actually hides a subconscious desire for her?
….
Sure, why not?
I eventually decided to put this theory to the test when I next met her.
Instead of wearing my usual face of disdain, I put on a chipper expression to see if this possible epiphany will help resolve things once and for all.
I grinned as wide as possible as to not neglect the sight of any pearly whites, while I opened my eyes to their fullest, almost to the point where they felt like they were bulging out.
When we finally met face to face, she was staring at me as if she had just witnessed something nightmarish.
Clearly the idea of me being friendly to her was just as odd and disturbing, but I still had to go through with this.
The girl in question asked me if I was sick or had gone mad when I gave my uncharacteristically friendly greeting.
I declined the notion before preparing my confession.
I took in a deep breath as tension raised, then announced, in the most dramatic fashion befitting a day time soap opera, my apparent, undying love for her, all while maintaining my smile.
Again, this caused nearby people to gather around us.
The girl glared at me in sudden shock as if the world had gone insane.
And before the crowd could completely encircle us…
She ran away. Screaming hysterically. As if she was in a horror film.
With the deed done, my expression returned to normal and I walked off towards the sunset feeling content.
I never did see that girl again.
Even when I shared a class with her, she did an exceptional job staying out of sight.
And all is well.
Now, if you excuse me, I must be going as I have an appointment to make.
I promised a tennis match with this girl I fancied from Drama Club, and she was happy to oblige.
I may not understand the workings of love quite yet,
But I know what I like.
 Chicken Yuki · Tue Sep 08, 2009 @ 04:31am · 0 Comments |
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